Sidewalk Jokes

What do you say to an Italian who is urinating on the sidewalk?

European!

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What did the pink panther say as he skipped down the sidewalk?

Dead ant, dead ant, dead ant dead ant dead ant dead annnnnt, deaaad ant.

Why is a banana peel on the sidewalk like music?

Because if you don't C sharp you'll B flat.

What happened when the chicken ate cement?

She laid a sidewalk!

How would you describe your past work?

Cut to me picking up coins off sidewalks and taking them to CoinStar -Change management.

Why are you driving on the sidewalk?

Motorist: It's too dangerous on the street.

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Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between a washing machine and your mom?

The last time I dumped a load into the washing machine, she didn't follow me around for a week!

Whats the difference between Michael Jackson and a Disney movie?

Disney movies can still touch little kids.

Banana Peel Jokes More Banana Peel Jokes

What do you say when you find two banana peels together?

A pair of slipper

What did the kitten say when it slipped on a banana peel?

Meowch!

Pick Jokes More Pick Jokes

What's the difference between a cake and a school bus?

Jill: I don't know. Janet: I'm glad I didn't send you to pick up my birthday cake!

What, really?

I said. "Yes, they're coming to pick you up in an hour"

Feminist Jokes More Feminist Jokes

What version of Counter-Strike do feminists get?

Counter-Feminist: Globally Offended

What part of New York has the most feminists?

Manhatin'

Weed Jokes More Weed Jokes

What do you call weed grown in a ceramic container?

Pothead plants.

What do you call a restaurant that sells food that contains weed?

McBongald's

Street Jokes More Street Jokes

Why does Paris have tree lined streets?

Because the German army likes to march in the shade.

Why did the chicken and the freemason cross the street?

To get the Yolk Rite.

Lay Jokes More Lay Jokes

Why put a baseball bat up when you can just lay it down on a stair in the middle of the stairway?

What could go wrong " My son apparently

Why are most guys like floor tile?

Because if you lay them right the first time, you can walk all over them from the rest of your life!

Eat Jokes More Eat Jokes

Why did the Mexican lorry driver lose his job?

He ate his tacho.

Why is a 77 better than a 69?

Because you get ate more