Spanish Inquisition Jokes

What wears a bright red suit and knows if you've been naught..or nice?

The Spanish Inquisition.

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What kind of suit does a lawyer like best?

The Spanish Inquisition.

Who wears a red suit and knows if you were naughty or nice?

The Spanish Inquisition.

What did Tony the Tiger say to the kids playing baseball?

Theeeeeeeeey Never expect the Spanish Inquisition!

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What do you call a crab that plays baseball?

A pinch hitter.

Why can't an orphan play baseball?

Because he can't run home

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What does Zeus wear under his tunic?

Thunderwear!

What size clothes do fortune tellers wear?

Medium.

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How do you know when you are going to drown in milk?

When it's past your eyes.

What's the difference between a good joke and a bad joke?

Please let me know... I have a terrible sense of humor!

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How is this joke similar to a musical about a thesaurus?

Both are a play on words.

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Too many cheetahs.

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When is the best time to play racquet sports?

Ten-ish.

When's the best time to procrastinate?

Later.

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Why did the Addams have the late man arrested?

He was expected on Tuesday, but he came on Wednesday.

What does Harry Potter say after he purchases slaves?

I expect to Potter-own 'em.

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What do lawyers use for birth control?

Personality.

What's the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a lawyer on a motorcycle?

The vacuum cleaner has the dirtbag on the inside.

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What do you call a man who has lost the lower parts of his legs, but still somehow has his feet?

Tony.

What do you call a guy with a toe growing out of his knee?

Tony.