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Ukraine Jokes

What does Ukraine have in common with the iPhone 7?

They both suffered the loss of one very important port.

$Your Age Is Only Math$

Your Age Is Only Math

What is Russia's favorite imported product?

Ukraine.

What did Putin say to the U.S. and E.U. after invading Ukraine?

Crimea river

Why can't you wear shorts in the Ukraine?

Chernobyl fallout...

What did Putin say to Ukraine after invading?

Crimea River.

What did Russia say to Ukraine?

Crimea River

Why didn't Ukraine go to war with Russia yet?

They were Putin up with him.

What did Putin say when the world got mad at him for invading the Ukraine?

Cri-me-a river!

Why are people leaving the Ukraine?

I don't know but they sure are Russian.

What's the #1 song in Ukraine?

Crimea River

Why should you not visit the Ukraine with your fly unzipped?

Because if you don't, Chernobyl fall out!

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

Where does Justin Timberlake go swimming when he's in the Ukraine?

The Crimea River

Why shouldn't you buy underwear made in the Ukraine?

Because Chernobyl fallout.

Why Won't Anyone Tell me the Name of Ukraine's 5th Largest City?

They keep telling me to stop asking...

How do the Russians invade the Ukraine?

They rush in.

Why shouldn't you buy trousers from northern Ukraine?

Chernobyl fallout

Why should you always wear underwear in Ukraine?

Otherwise Chernobyl Fallout.

Why shouldn't you buy underwear from the Ukraine?

Chernobyl fall out.

Why shouldn't you wear loose fitting shorts when visiting Ukraine?

Because Chernobyl fallout

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Fly Jokes More Fly Jokes

Where do rabbits learn to fly?

The Hare Force

Why did the eagle fly into the church?

It was a bird of pray

Justin Timberlake Jokes More Justin Timberlake Jokes

What is Vladimir Putin's favourite Justin Timberlake song?

Crimea river

What does Justin Timberlake say when he goes to the bathroom?

It's Gonna be Pee

Leave Jokes More Leave Jokes

How do you get someone with a doctorate in philosophy to leave your house?

Just pay for your pizza.

What's better than having a 'Brexit' vote about Britain leaving the EU?

Not being British.

U. S. Jokes More U. S. Jokes

What did the U.S president say before starting WW3?

Nukes... You're fired!

Why doesn't Mexico have an Olympic team?

Because everybody who can run, jump and swim are already in the U.S.

Wear Jokes More Wear Jokes

Why do Italians wear gold chains?

So they know where to stop shaving.

What do you call a root vegetable wearing a tank top?

A bro-tato

Birthday Jokes More Birthday Jokes

How did the programmer celebrate his birthday?

Var celebration = "Hip", "Hip";

What does a clam do on his birthday?

He shellabrates!

Crimean Jokes More Crimean Jokes

Why did the Crimean run across the Street?

Because he was Russian

What did Vladimir Putin say to the Ukraine after he annexed it?

Crimean river.

Import Jokes More Import Jokes

What is Russia's favorite imported product?

Ukraine.

Why don't you remove those barriers to imports?

It will ease my inflation and the benefits will trickle down.