Ukraine Jokes

What does Ukraine have in common with the iPhone 7?

They both suffered the loss of one very important port.

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What is Russia's favorite imported product?

Ukraine.

What did Putin say to the U.S. and E.U. after invading Ukraine?

Crimea river

Why can't you wear shorts in the Ukraine?

Chernobyl fallout...

What did Putin say to Ukraine after invading?

Crimea River.

What did Russia say to Ukraine?

Crimea River

Why didn't Ukraine go to war with Russia yet?

They were Putin up with him.

What did Putin say when the world got mad at him for invading the Ukraine?

Cri-me-a river!

Why are people leaving the Ukraine?

I don't know but they sure are Russian.

What's the #1 song in Ukraine?

Crimea River

Why should you not visit the Ukraine with your fly unzipped?

Because if you don't, Chernobyl fall out!

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Where does Justin Timberlake go swimming when he's in the Ukraine?

The Crimea River

Why shouldn't you buy underwear made in the Ukraine?

Because Chernobyl fallout.

Why Won't Anyone Tell me the Name of Ukraine's 5th Largest City?

They keep telling me to stop asking...

How do the Russians invade the Ukraine?

They rush in.

Why shouldn't you buy trousers from northern Ukraine?

Chernobyl fallout

Why should you always wear underwear in Ukraine?

Otherwise Chernobyl Fallout.

Why shouldn't you buy underwear from the Ukraine?

Chernobyl fall out.

Why shouldn't you wear loose fitting shorts when visiting Ukraine?

Because Chernobyl fallout

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Putin Jokes More Putin Jokes

Why is everyone afraid of Vladimir Putin?

Because Vlad is Putin everyone in their place.

What is Putin's favorite Justin Timberlake song?

Cremia River

Food Jokes More Food Jokes

Why did the pig join the Army?

He heard the food was a mess.

What do you call a rotten lamb chop?

Food gone ba-a-a-a-a-ad.

Conflict Jokes More Conflict Jokes

Where is the most conflict in a loaf of bread?

The middle yeast

How do we not know what women want yet?

There are tons of conflicting lists all over the internet.

Neck Jokes More Neck Jokes

What do men and beer bottles have in common?

They are both empty from the neck up.

How can you tell the Ethiopian diplomat at a political function?

He's the one with the gold Rolex around his neck.

Neighbor Jokes More Neighbor Jokes

What N-word do you never want to call a black man?

Neighbor!

How is being married like puttin' on a tin roof?

If you don't nail her good she'll be at the neighbors.

Russian Jokes More Russian Jokes

Why was WWI so short?

Because they were Russian... Why was WWII so long? They were Stalin...

What is the difference between Russian Optimist Pessimist and Realist?

An Optimist learns German. A Pessimist learns Chinese. A Realist learns AK-47.

World Jokes More World Jokes

What's the fastest cake in the world?

Meriiiiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnngue.

Who run the world?

Generally people who have at least a basic understanding of grammar.

People Jokes More People Jokes

What do you call people with big ears?

Nothing, they might hear you

What is the preferred drink for people in St. Cloud?

Mini Soda