Un Deux Trois ' Cat Jokes

Who won?

One two three' cat, because 'Un deux trois' cat sank.

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Which cat made it across?

The second cat because un deux trois cat sank.

Which cat won the race?

The English cat. Un deux trois cat sank.

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Mean Jokes More Mean Jokes

Where were you born?

Me: Missouri. I: What state are you in now? M: Apathy. I: That's not what I meant. M: I don't care.

What are your expectations?

Me: Job. Interviewer: I mean what do you want from this job Me: Salary

Race Jokes More Race Jokes

How do you call a 100 m race between siamese twins?

Head to head race

Why was the track runner with low self-esteem able to complete the race even after being impaled by a stray javelin?

He didn't know he had it in him.

Sink Jokes More Sink Jokes

What do you call a sinking ship full of condiments?

Sinko de Mayo

How can north korea tell if it made a ship or a submarine?

By how fast it sinks.

Second Jokes More Second Jokes

What do a priest and a swimmer who came in second have in common?

The both came in a little behind

How was the movie?

Brian: A real turkey. I could hardly sit through it the second time!

Win Jokes More Win Jokes

What does that tell you?

4-year-old: I won.

Why did the Origami Artist never win a poker match?

Because he will always fold.

Un Jokes More Un Jokes

Which cat made it across?

The second cat because un deux trois cat sank.

Why did the Frenchman not want two eggs for breakfast?

Because one egg is un oeuf.

Boat Jokes More Boat Jokes

Why do scuba divers fall backwards into the water?

Because if they fell forwards they’d still be in the boat.

What do you call a boat that won't float?

Bloated.

English Jokes More English Jokes

What is the longest sentence in the English language?

I do.

Which came first... social media or dumb people?

AND which is worse... the overdoing of selfies OR not knowing how to use the English language