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Ur Jokes

What did the Psychiatrist say to the man who walked in wearing nothing but plastic wrap?

I can clearly see ur nuts.

$Your Age Is Only Math$

Your Age Is Only Math

Why y'all checkin' me?

Ur the ones with a pot leaf on your flag!!

What's the best thing about dating a homeless woman?

When ur done, u can drop her off anywhere.

What's ur name?

Bonnie" C: That ur real name "Nope. Jekyll Elizabeth Parker" C: ...Bonnie it is

How do I know ur not a cop?

If I was a cop would I do this " *Starts break dancing* That's not as much proof as you think it is

When ur at chipotle n u ask for guac and they say "its extra is that ok?

If u say its not ok they give it to u for free

What is in common between a napkin and a person?

If you sleep with a person, he/she is ur nap-kin.

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Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

What did the Morman say when asked what kind of wives he wanted?

Brigham Young

What did the IT guy say to his wife after she complained about their love life?

Did you try turning me off and on again?

Fear Jokes More Fear Jokes

Why do Germans fear hotdogs with cheese?

Because for them, it is a Wurst-Kase scenario.

What one noun, verb, and US President sums up a scientist's hopes and fears?

Grant.

Date Jokes More Date Jokes

What do you call a dating app for neckbeards?

Tipper.

What does a Texan do if he breaks up with his girl friend?

He dates his other sister.

Flag Jokes More Flag Jokes

Whats the best part of living in Switzerland?

Im not too sure either but the flags a big plus.

Why are firetrucks red?

You see, firetrucks have 4 wheels, can carry 8 men and 4+ 8 = 12. There are 12 inches in a ruler and Queen Elizabeth was a ruler. There was once a ship named Elizabeth that sailed the seas. Fish live in the seas and fish have fins. People from Finland are called Fins. Finland and Russia had a war a long time ago. Russia has red on its flag and that's why they're red. Cause they're always Russian around.

Guy Jokes More Guy Jokes

Why didn't the guy with ADHD take his medicine?

He forgot.

What do you call it when two guys open a weed dispensary?

A joint venture.

Misunderstand Jokes More Misunderstand Jokes

What do you call a joke that is based on a misunderstanding?

Ironic

What do you call 'a woman's understanding'?

Misunderstanding

Homeless Woman Jokes More Homeless Woman Jokes

What's the best thing about dating a homeless woman?

When ur done, u can drop her off anywhere.

How do you know a homeless woman is menstruating?

If she's only wearing one sock. (This joke brought to you courtesy the homeless guy outside my local 7-11.) Edit: tweaked the punchline.

Nope Jokes More Nope Jokes

Where'd you get those shoes?

Me:"I've had these for years. Is that a new grill I saw " H:"Nope just cleaned the old one" *Marriage lies

What Would Beyonce Do?

Would she apply for a job Nope. She'd just show up one day like "I work here now."