Ur Jokes

What did the Psychiatrist say to the man who walked in wearing nothing but plastic wrap?

I can clearly see ur nuts.

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Why y'all checkin' me?

Ur the ones with a pot leaf on your flag!!

What's the best thing about dating a homeless woman?

When ur done, u can drop her off anywhere.

What's ur name?

Bonnie" C: That ur real name "Nope. Jekyll Elizabeth Parker" C: ...Bonnie it is

How do I know ur not a cop?

If I was a cop would I do this " *Starts break dancing* That's not as much proof as you think it is

When ur at chipotle n u ask for guac and they say "its extra is that ok?

If u say its not ok they give it to u for free

What is in common between a napkin and a person?

If you sleep with a person, he/she is ur nap-kin.

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Emergency Jokes More Emergency Jokes

Why are women and children evacuated first in an emergency?

So the men can think of a solution in silence.

What is your emergency?

Me: I love you. 911: Hang up. Me: No you hang up. 911: Stop. Me: This is so us.

Wear Jokes More Wear Jokes

Why do people wear shamrocks on St. Patrick's Day?

Regular rocks are too heavy.

What do you call a cat wearing shoes?

Puss in boots!

Date Jokes More Date Jokes

What do you call a dating app for neckbeards?

Tipper.

How'd the date go?

Not good. Too many red flags. *Flashback to her house being covered with USSR flags* I think she might be a communist.

Honour Jokes More Honour Jokes

What do you call the system of honour of French horses?

Chevalry

Psychiatrist Jokes More Psychiatrist Jokes

Why is a psychiatrist like a squirrel?

Because they are both surrounded by nuts.

Why did the witch go to the psychiatrist?

Because she thought everybody loved her.

Plastic Wrap Jokes More Plastic Wrap Jokes

What did the Psychiatrist say to the man who walked in wearing nothing but plastic wrap?

I can clearly see ur nuts.

Why did linkin park wrap themselves up in plastic wrap before they jumped off a cliff?

So in the end they didn't even splatter.

Roof Jokes More Roof Jokes

How are a roof and quantum physics the same?

They both go over your head.

What is the worst joke you have ever Heard?

I'll start it off: Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The Ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.

Nope Jokes More Nope Jokes

What's the capitol of Switzerland?

Me: Ummm, Geneva Him: Nope!.... BERN!!!!

What do you see?

Patient: A house and Me: Wrong it's Batman. Ok this one Patient: I se Me: Nope. Batman again.