Winnie Jokes

How does Winnie the Pooh open his honey pot?

With his bear hands. Thank the Chive for that one.

Everyday Deserves a Joke

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What do Winnie the Pooh and Ivan the Terrible have in common?

The same middle name. (Shamelessly stolen from Cortana.)

Why did the boy peek down the toilet bowl?

He was trying to find Winnie the Pooh.

What 2 things do Winnie the Pooh and John the Baptist have in common?

They both ate honey and they both have the same middle name.

What do Winnie the Pooh and Jack the Ripper have in common?

The same middle name.

What's the name of West Virginia's version of Winnie the Pooh?

Gummy Bear

What do Winnie the Pooh and Attila the Hun have in common?

The same middle name.

What do you call the things on the end of Winnie the Pooh's feet?

Putos (Ask your Mexican friend)

What do you get if you cross a skunk with a bear?

Winnie the Pooh!

What do you call The Bear who loves philosophy?

Winnie the Philosopooh

What do John the Baptist and Winnie the Pooh have in common?

They have the same middle name!

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Attila Jokes More Attila Jokes

Who's there! Attila! Attila who?

Attila you no lies!

What do Winnie the Pooh and Attila the Hun have in common?

The same middle name.

Thank Jokes More Thank Jokes

Why didn't the scientist tell his colleague the t-value of a test with 21 degrees of freedom and a p-value of 5%?

It was a t-crit! Thank you and goodnight!

What kind of shoes do Frogs wear?

Open Toad sandals...

Steal Jokes More Steal Jokes

What did the dealer say to Ted when he caught him stealing heroin?

Your addicted.

What do you call a stolen tamole?

A hot tamole

Jack Jokes More Jack Jokes

Which playing card can turn its hand to everything?

Jack of all Spades

Why was Jack scared?

Because Jack was bean stalked

Trigger Jokes More Trigger Jokes

Why was Roy Rogers upset when he fell off his horse?

He wanted a Trigger warning.

What does a Men's Rights activist call a broken hand?

Celibacy. (Edit: LOL! Seems I've "triggered" some folks with broken hands and fedora collections.)

Cross Jokes More Cross Jokes

What did the Iraqi refugee say when he crossed the border?

Iran!

What do you get when you cross an elephant with a bird?

A gulp. It's like a swallow, only bigger.

Honey Jokes More Honey Jokes

What do you get from a bee that has an udder?

Milk and honey.

What do bees do with their honey?

They cell it.

Bear Hand Jokes More Bear Hand Jokes

How does a grizzly catch fish?

With his bear hands!

How does Winnie the Pooh open his honey pot?

With his bear hands. Thank the Chive for that one.