Wood Chipper Jokes

What's the difference between jam and jelly?

You can't jelly someone into a wood chipper.

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How do you start a baby shower?

Throw it into a wood chipper.

What do you get when you drop a baby into a wood chipper?

Well an erection of course.

What's the difference between a redwood and a dead baby?

A redwood won't fit in a wood chipper.

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What is the difference between a baby and a bag of cocaine?

Eric Clapton would NEVER drop a bag of cocaine.

What's worse than a baby in a dumpster?

A baby in two dumpsters.

Fit Jokes More Fit Jokes

What do you call the largest number of grizzlies you can fit in a car?

The bear maximum

What is the most mysterious cheese?

I'm going to a cheese and wine party tonight and the host has requested I bring a "mystery cheese". I'm hoping there's a puntastic cheese out there somewhere that may fit the bill!

Throw Jokes More Throw Jokes

What happens when you throw a piano down a mine shaft?

A flat miner.

How are music and candy similar?

We throw away the rappers.

Jelly Jokes More Jelly Jokes

What is a printer's favorite type of jelly?

Jelly's fine, but paper jam is the best!

What's the difference between jelly and jam?

Nobody would name their band Pearl Jelly.

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between organized crime and politics?

One's organized.

What's the difference between a coyote and a flea?

One howls on the prairie the other prowls on the hairy.

Dead Baby Jokes More Dead Baby Jokes

What's worse than ten dead babies nailed to a tree?

One dead baby nailed to ten trees.

What is the hardest thing about walking through a field of dead babies?

My erection.

Drop Jokes More Drop Jokes

What did Dave Grohl say when he dropped his hoagie off a bridge?

There goes my Hero.

What time is it when planes start dropping engines?

Shedding season

Erection Jokes More Erection Jokes

What do you get when OP gets erections?

QR

Why was the naturists wedding delayed?

The ring bearer had an erection.