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Wood Chipper Jokes

What's the difference between jam and jelly?

You can't jelly someone into a wood chipper.

Love

Love

How do you start a baby shower?

Throw it into a wood chipper.

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Drop Jokes More Drop Jokes

What is the difference between a baby and a bag of cocaine?

Eric Clapton would NEVER drop a bag of cocaine.

Why did the farmer fire the DJ?

Because he kept on dropping beets.

Erection Jokes More Erection Jokes

What do Japanese people do when they have erections?

Vote!

How long does it take a baby to die in the microwave?

I don't know, I lose track of time when I have an erection.

Throw Jokes More Throw Jokes

What do you call it when a Physics Teacher throws a bar of chocolate at you?

Brownian Motion

Why did the man who robbed the liquor store with a boomerang get caught?

Because he couldn't throw away the evidence

Baby Jokes More Baby Jokes

How many babies does it take to make light?

99, 98 get in a pile while 1 grabs a match and lighter fluid.

What's black and taps on the window?

A baby in the microwave

Course Jokes More Course Jokes

What is the new coin called?

A Shilling, of course.

Where do they weigh whales?

At the whale weigh station of course.

Dead Baby Jokes More Dead Baby Jokes

What is the difference between sack of dead babys and Ferrari?

I don't have Ferrari in my garage.

What do you call a dead baby with a yeast infection?

A quarter pounder with cheese.

Jelly Jokes More Jelly Jokes

What's the difference between jam and jelly?

You can't jelly someone into a wood chipper.

What do you get if you cross a sheepdog with a jelly?

The collie wobbles!

Start Jokes More Start Jokes

How many countries' flags make an appearance at every auto race in the world?

Two. Libya's to start the race, and France's to signal there's one lap to go.

Why couldn't the taxidermist finish anything he started?

Because he kept getting side tracked by pet projects