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Woody Jokes

What did Woody say to Buzz?

A lot. There were 3 movies.

I Love Pizza & You

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I Love Pizza & You

What car does Woody drive?

AUDI ADUI ADUI!

What did Little Bo Peep say to Woody when she got caught screwing Buzz?

You got a friend in me.

What did woody and buzz say to your mom?

Strange to see your toys have the same name as us.

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Walk Jokes More Walk Jokes

Why is that my son?

Son: Because...Walking dead Intro/outro plays loud

How many retweets to let me take your sister to prom?

A student walks up to his friend a week before prom and asks, "Hey, how many Twitter retweets do i have to get to take your sister to prom?" His friend says, "Dude, she was abducted! She's been missing 3 weeks, you know this!" The student says, "So you're saying if i find her, i can take her?"

Toy Story Jokes More Toy Story Jokes

What's the difference between Woody from Toy Story and a priest?

Only one of them goes limp when a child walks into a room.

Remember Jokes More Remember Jokes

Why has no one invented a device where I can move myself around from place to place while lying in a hammock?

I remember when we used to make stuff in this lazy country!

Whats th first joke you remember hearing or that you told as a kid?

Mine is: What is the white stuff in bird poop? (That is also bird poop.) edit: til you can't edit the topic to fix spelling errors...

Month Jokes More Month Jokes

What do women and werewolves have in common?

Offensive) They both go berserk once every month.

Why are YOU afraid?

Doc: I'm not Me: You said you were Doc: I lied. You got a month. HAPPY NOW

Drive Jokes More Drive Jokes

What can hunger do that a woman simply can't?

Drive me to the grocery store.

Why did the witch get a car with manual transmission?

Because she prefers to drive stick!

Toy Jokes More Toy Jokes

Why couldn't little Johnny get the toy he saw on TV?

His parents weren't 18 or older.

What did Santa shout to his toys on Christmas Eve?

ELF NO. 2: Okay everyone sack time!!

Catholic Jokes More Catholic Jokes

Why don't catholics wear condoms?

Because little boys can't get pregnant.

What do you call sleep walking nun?

Roaming Catholic

Screw Jokes More Screw Jokes

How many socialists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

All of them.

Why is your brother always flying off the handle?

Second Boy: Because he's got a screw loose!