Toy Jokes

What does Santa say to the elves after they make the toys?

Leave my presents

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Why do Santas elves take forever to finish making toys?

Because they are always a little behind

Where does the pirate shop for his kid for Christmas?

Toys Arrrrrrrrrrr Us

Why did the toy company stop donating toys to kids in Africa?

Because it's pretty depressing to have a Tamagotchi that'll out-live you.

What kind of cars do jedis drive?

A toy-

Where is a pirates favorite place to shop for toys?

Toys arrrrrr Us.

Why couldn't little Johnny get the toy he saw on TV?

His parents weren't 18 or older.

Why was the alligator sad?

It had a kiddie meal but didn't get a toy.

Why wouldn't the shrimp share his toys?

Because he is a little shellfish.

How many do I need to get an Xbox?

Sir, that's not how Toys for Tots works." "FALSE ADVERTISING!"

What can we do to make it even scarier?

Put a toy for babies on its tail. YES

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Where do black parents get gifts for their children?

At Toys We Is

What did Santa shout to his toys on Christmas Eve?

ELF NO. 2: Okay everyone sack time!!

What do you call an elf who lost all his toys?

Legolas

What did woody and buzz say to your mom?

Strange to see your toys have the same name as us.

What do you call Santa without toys?

A lost Clause

What do you call a man with a spade on his head?

Doug Got a set of tweezers as the toy as well. Hours of fun right there.

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Scream Jokes More Scream Jokes

What's white and red, 3 inches long, and makes dudes scream and run away when you show it to them?

A positive pregnancy test.

What do you call a screaming timepiece?

An alarmed clock.

Ann Jokes More Ann Jokes

What do you call 5 guys who have no arms or legs and a woman floating in the water together?

Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob and Ann

Who's there! Ann! Ann who?

Ann-onymous!

Realise Jokes More Realise Jokes

Why was Orlando Bloom sad when he realised he wasn't able to build small toy houses?

Because he was Legolas.

What's worse than finding a horse's head on your pillow?

Realising the horse is alive and well and how much did I drink last night!

Stop Jokes More Stop Jokes

How many lawyers does it take to stop a moving bus?

Never enough.

Why was the powerlifter fired from his job at the restaurant?

He was awesome at cleaning the bar, but he wouldn't stop jerking it.

Raggedy Jokes More Raggedy Jokes

Why don't Raggedy Ann &amp Andy have any children?

Cotton balls

Why did raggedy Ann get kicked out of the toy box?

She kept sitting on Pinocchio's face screaming "LIE TO ME"!

Arrrrrrrrrrr Jokes More Arrrrrrrrrrr Jokes

Where does the pirate shop for his kid for Christmas?

Toys Arrrrrrrrrrr Us

Why are pirates so mean?

They just ARRRRRRRRRRR!!!

Santa Jokes More Santa Jokes

Why is Mrs. Claus disappointed?

Because Santa came early!

What do Michael Jackson and Santa have in common?

They both leave little boys rooms with lighter sacks.

Philosopher Favorite Toy Jokes More Philosopher Favorite Toy Jokes

What's a philosophers favorite toy?

Plato

What's a philosopher's favorite toy?

Play-doh.