Toy Jokes

What does Santa say to the elves after they make the toys?

Leave my presents

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Why do Santas elves take forever to finish making toys?

Because they are always a little behind

Where does the pirate shop for his kid for Christmas?

Toys Arrrrrrrrrrr Us

Where is a pirates favorite place to shop for toys?

Toys arrrrrr Us.

Why couldn't little Johnny get the toy he saw on TV?

His parents weren't 18 or older.

Why wouldn't the shrimp share his toys?

Because he is a little shellfish.

How many do I need to get an Xbox?

Sir, that's not how Toys for Tots works." "FALSE ADVERTISING!"

What do you call an elf who lost all his toys?

Legolas

Why did all the other toys throw RaggedyAnn out of the toy box?

She kept on sitting on Pinocchio's face yelling "Lie to me, lie to me!"

What do you call Santa without toys?

A lost Clause

What do you call a man with a spade on his head?

Doug Got a set of tweezers as the toy as well. Hours of fun right there.

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Kick Jokes More Kick Jokes

What do you call someone who's been kicked out of a fraternity?

Hasbro.

Why was the legless man immortal?

Because he couldn't kick the bucket.

Donate Jokes More Donate Jokes

Why don't shrimp donate to charities?

Because they're shellfish.

When Pavlov was done with his experiments what did he do with his dogs?

Donate them to the salivation army I'llseemyselfout

Shop Jokes More Shop Jokes

Where do you shop for a pregnant cow?

The Mooternity Section.

What do you get if you cross a labrador and a tortoise?

A dog that will run to the shop to get your paper and bring back last weeks paper!

Realise Jokes More Realise Jokes

Why was Orlando Bloom sad when he realised he wasn't able to build small toy houses?

Because he was Legolas.

How do you know when you are too drunk to drive?

When you swerve to miss a tree and then realise it was your air freshener..

Arrrrrr Jokes More Arrrrrr Jokes

Where is a pirates favorite place to shop for toys?

Toys arrrrrr Us.

Ann Jokes More Ann Jokes

Who's there! Ann! Ann who?

Ann-onymous!

Pinocchio Face Jokes More Pinocchio Face Jokes

Why did they kick Raggedy Anne out of the toybox?

She kept on sitting on Pinocchio's face yelling "Lie to me... lie to me!"

Why did all the other toys throw RaggedyAnn out of the toy box?

She kept on sitting on Pinocchio's face yelling "Lie to me, lie to me!"

Car Jokes More Car Jokes

Why did you stop your car get out and yell "coward" at the traffic signal?

Motorist: The light just turned yellow.

What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs driving a car?

Rex (made this one up myself!)