Toy Jokes

What does Santa say to the elves after they make the toys?

Leave my presents

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Why do Santas elves take forever to finish making toys?

Because they are always a little behind

Where does the pirate shop for his kid for Christmas?

Toys Arrrrrrrrrrr Us

Where is a pirates favorite place to shop for toys?

Toys arrrrrr Us.

Why couldn't little Johnny get the toy he saw on TV?

His parents weren't 18 or older.

Why wouldn't the shrimp share his toys?

Because he is a little shellfish.

How many do I need to get an Xbox?

Sir, that's not how Toys for Tots works." "FALSE ADVERTISING!"

What do you call an elf who lost all his toys?

Legolas

Why did all the other toys throw RaggedyAnn out of the toy box?

She kept on sitting on Pinocchio's face yelling "Lie to me, lie to me!"

What do you call Santa without toys?

A lost Clause

What do you call a man with a spade on his head?

Doug Got a set of tweezers as the toy as well. Hours of fun right there.

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Which Elizabethan sailor could stop bikes?

Sir Francis Brake!

Whats the best way to stop a runaway horse?

Bet on it.

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Where does Santa get presents for bad kids?

Kohl's.

Who brings all the good little inclined plane girls and boys presents at Christmas?

Slanta Claus.

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Where do the Russian separatists go to complain about their lives?

Crimea River

Why are birthday's good for you?

Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest!

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What do you get when you mix human DNA with goat DNA?

Kicked out of the petting zoo.

Why did the pelican get kicked out of the restaurant?

Because he had a very large bill.

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Why did all the other toys throw RaggedyAnn out of the toy box?

She kept on sitting on Pinocchio's face yelling "Lie to me, lie to me!"

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What do you call an elf who lost all his toys?

Legolas

What do you call an Irish snake in Lord of the Rings?

Legolas

Throw Jokes More Throw Jokes

What do you throw a drowning guitarist?

His amp.

What do you get when you throw a rabbit at someone's head?

Facial Hare

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What do you call a flower in Florida?

Orlando Bloom.

Why was Orlando Bloom sad when he realised he wasn't able to build small toy houses?

Because he was Legolas.