How did Pinocchio figure out he was made of wood?

He was jacking off one day and his hand caught on fire.

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Day Jokes More Day Jokes

Why are indecisive miners the worst?

Because all day they deal with ores.

What is the biggest similarity between the average Redditor and a lumberjack?

They both sleep all night and whack all day!

Wood Jokes More Wood Jokes

How does a crazy person get out of the woods?

They take the psychopath.

How do historians know that Joseph wasn't Jesus' dad?

Because when you're a carpenter in the desert you can't get wood.

Fire Jokes More Fire Jokes

How's the wife?

Me:Glowing Neighbour:Pregnant Me:No, she's on fire, just going for more wood Neighbour:You're sick Me:You're next

Why was a missile looking for a job?

Because it got fired!

Catch Jokes More Catch Jokes

Why did the chicken cross the road, roll around in mud, and cross again after being caught by the mafia?

Because he was a dirty double crosser.

Why was the paper man sent to jail?

He was caught rustling.

Hand Jokes More Hand Jokes

What's strong enough for a man but made for a women?

The back of my hand.

What does the Pope use to dry his hands?

Papal towels.

Jack Jokes More Jack Jokes

Why Was Jill upest about the new iphone?

Because there was no jack.

Why did the pirate have trouble with the alphabet?

Because his 'I' was all jacked up.

Figure Jokes More Figure Jokes

How many nuclear engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to install the bulb and six to figure out what to do with the old one for the next 10,000 years

Which two names figure prominently in every Ape's diet?

Ben/Anna!

Pinocchio Jokes More Pinocchio Jokes

Why is Pinocchio so good in the bedroom?

He nose what he's doing

Why did all the other toys throw RaggedyAnn out of the toy box?

She kept on sitting on Pinocchio's face yelling "Lie to me, lie to me!"