How did Pinocchio figure out he was mad...

What time of day are you not able to find your watch?

4:04

What do you call a group of millionaires sitting around watching the NBA finals?

The Lakers. (Laker fan here. Sorry prob would have been more appropriate last week during the finals.) Edit: I heard this some where the other day. I can't take credit for the joke.

Wood Jokes More Wood Jokes

How does a Priest find a little boy in the woods?

Very exciting

What did the Doe say when she came out of the woods?

I'm not doing that again for two bucks.

Fire Jokes More Fire Jokes

Why does AMD call having 2 or more cards Crossfire?

Because no matter what card you cross, and how many, you're bound to start a fire.

Why did Ted get fired from his job?

Because he would only do the minimum?

Catch Jokes More Catch Jokes

Why Yao-Ming tries to catch Pikachu?

He's from Team Rocket

What did one tower say to the other?

I've got a plane to catch

Hand Jokes More Hand Jokes

What did the hands say to the flour?

I knead you!

How did a blind man drive his car?

One hand on the wheel the other on the road.

Jack Jokes More Jack Jokes

Why did Jack get a restraining order?

Beanstalking.

Why did the pirate have trouble with the alphabet?

Because his 'I' was all jacked up.

Figure Jokes More Figure Jokes

Why was the blonde confused after giving birth to twins?

She couldn't figure out who the other mother was.

Why couldn't the choir director figure out whether Alison Brie was alto soprano?

Everytime he tried, he was told that she was young and that they tried not to sectionalise her.

Pinocchio Jokes More Pinocchio Jokes

Why did Raggedy Anne get kicked out of the toybox?

She kept sitting on Pinocchio's face and screaming "Lie to me! Lie to me!!!"

Why did raggedy Ann get kicked out of the toy box?

She kept sitting on Pinocchio's face screaming "LIE TO ME"!

How did Pinocchio figure out he was made of wood?