How long does it take a baby to die in the microwave?

I don't know, I lose track of time when I have an erection.

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Lose Jokes More Lose Jokes

How'd he do that?

Because you can't bowl a 300 and lose.

How long does it take a baby to die in the microwave?

I don't know, I lose track of time when I have an erection.

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

What do you call a folder on FBI's servers that contains all the intel on known child molesters?

A Pedo File.

How do we know that Jesus wasn't born in Mexico?

Because he'd never have been able to find 3 wise men and a virgin.

Erection Jokes More Erection Jokes

What does an Asian man do during an erection?

Vote.

What do you get when you throw a baby against a wall?

An erection

Time Jokes More Time Jokes

What is a time travelling vacuum cleaner called?

Dr Whoover

What time is our movie tonight?

Me: 7:30. It's 2 hours 50 minutes Hub: WHAT! I CANT STAY UP TILL 10:30 "Back off ladies. He's mine"

Die Jokes More Die Jokes

Why did the white girl die of alkalosis?

Because she was too basic

What is the difference between christianity and national socialism?

In christianity, one guy died for all the others.

Microwave Jokes More Microwave Jokes

What happens when you microwave a DVD?

You get a VHS tape.

How do you cook vegatables in the microwave?

Take them out their wheelchair.

Baby Jokes More Baby Jokes

How do skeletons make a baby?

They bone

What do you call a baby Cosmonaut?

Yuri Googoogagarin.

Track Jokes More Track Jokes

How about an app that keeps track of every working automatic paper towel dispenser in the world?

All seven or eight of them.

What was wrong with the boy's brand new toy electric train set he received for Christmas?

Forty feet of track - all straight!