March Madness Sale - 25% Off

What did they say about the guy who woke up and jerked off on his alarm clock every day?

He always came on time.

Previous Random Joke Next
Come Jokes More Come Jokes

What happened when Santa cut his beard?

The police came and took statements but ultimately Mrs. Claus declined to press charges. OC

How Pokemon Go came to be Customers: "Niantic, can we have 151 Pokemon?

Niantic: "147 Pokemon You want to have 145 Pokemon! What are you going to do with 142 Pokemon!"

Day Jokes More Day Jokes

What do you call a T-Rex that's been weightlifting all day?

Dino-sore

Why was the man hanging out in the market all day?

I don't know, but it was pretty bazaar

Time Jokes More Time Jokes

When is the only time a woman says something smart?

When her sentence starts with "A wise man once said"

Why do bad break-dancers get reduced prison sentences?

Time served

Guy Jokes More Guy Jokes

What did one French Guy say to another French Guy?

Bonjour, je m'apelle Guy aussi!" ("Hello, I am called Guy as well!")

What do you call a guy who likes to hang out with musicians?

A drummer.

Wake Jokes More Wake Jokes

Why did the man sleep under the tractor?

Because he wanted to wake up oily.

How do you wake a sleeping Lady Gaga?

You poke poke poker face

Jerk Jokes More Jerk Jokes

What's the difference between fishing and dating?

In one you don't want to jerk the hook, but in the other you don't want to hook the jerk.

Why was the powerlifter fired from his job at the restaurant?

He was awesome at cleaning the bar, but he wouldn't stop jerking it.

Alarm Clock Jokes More Alarm Clock Jokes

Why did the emo swallow an alarm clock?

So he could wake up inside.

What time does an engineer set his alarm clock for?

Around Thevenin the morning