What did they say about the guy who woke up and jerked off on his alarm clock every day?

He always came on time.

Previous Random Joke Next
Come Jokes More Come Jokes

What does Bill Cosby have in common with Ninjas?

Their victims never see them coming.

What does a condom have in common with a coffin?

Ones for coming and ones for going.

Day Jokes More Day Jokes

What's that movie about the girl who forgets Adam Sandler every day?

I want to know her secret

Why shouldn't you be friends with a broken clock?

Because it won't even give you the time of day.

Time Jokes More Time Jokes

How many "All Lives Matter" protesters does it take to change a light bulb?

None, because they keep on asking why all of the other light bulbs in the house aren't being changed at the same time.

Why won't the Alzheimer's patient pay attention to you?

Because he doesn't know the time of day.

Guy Jokes More Guy Jokes

What do you call two guys above a window?

Kurt and Rod

How do you stop a Polish tank?

Shoot the guy that's pushing it

Wake Jokes More Wake Jokes

What do you call that mean guy who keeps waking you up?

A myoclonic jerk.

What did the seven dwarves say when Snow White finally woke up?

Well, it looks like its back to jerking off.

Jerk Jokes More Jerk Jokes

What did the seven dwarves say when Snow White finally woke up?

Well, it looks like its back to jerking off.

What do you call it when a lemon jerks off her own brother until he chafes?

Inzest

Alarm Clock Jokes More Alarm Clock Jokes

What did they say about the guy who woke up and jerked off on his alarm clock every day?

He always came on time.

Why did the emo swallow an alarm clock?

So he could wake up inside.