Why was the powerlifter fired from his job at the restaurant?

He was awesome at cleaning the bar, but he wouldn't stop jerking it.

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Stop Jokes More Stop Jokes

What's the difference between a drunk driver, and a stoned driver?

The drunk driver will drive right through a stop sign. The stoned driver will stop and wait for it to turn green.

Why did Einstein stop seeing his mistress?

She fell in love and he didn't anticipate entanglement

Fire Jokes More Fire Jokes

What did the pirate say when he saw his kid lighting the ship on fire?

Arrr son!

Why does AMD call having 2 or more cards Crossfire?

Because no matter what card you cross, and how many, you're bound to start a fire.

Restaurant Jokes More Restaurant Jokes

What's the definition of a cannibal?

Some who goes into a restaurant and orders a waiter!

Why do I have to say please when I ask for a sandwich at a restaurant?

They don't say please when I'm paying. They say, "That'll be $5". I should be able to say, "That'll be a sandwich."

Job Jokes More Job Jokes

How do you make a motherboard?

I asked him. He said, "Tell her about my job."

What does a geography graduate do with a lightbulb?

Not get a job.

Clean Jokes More Clean Jokes

Why do wizards clean their teeth three times a day?

To prevent bat breath!

What does a sailor use to clean his clothes?

Tide

Bar Jokes More Bar Jokes

Why did the ghosts haunt the bar?

For the boos.

How is a woman like a bar?

Liquor in the front, poker in the back ()

Jerk Jokes More Jerk Jokes

What do you call 2 polar bears jerking each other off?

Bi-polar

What do you call it when a lemon jerks off her own brother until he chafes?

Inzest