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What has a mouth but never speaks, Has a bed but never sleeps, And has legs but never walks?

Amp;nbsp; A mute, crippled insomniac

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Leg Jokes More Leg Jokes

What did the little boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas?

Cancer.

What do you call a dog with no legs and balls of steal?

Sparkie.

Bed Jokes More Bed Jokes

Why did the policeman stay in bed today?

He was undercover *!*

What does Green Day say before bed?

Green night

Sleep Jokes More Sleep Jokes

Why did the boy take a pencil and paper to bed?

He was told to draw the curtains before going to sleep.

What do you call a sleeping police officer?

An undercover cop.

Walk Jokes More Walk Jokes

Why did the junkie walk into the pet store?

To buy some quack croakaine!

What's the difference between a gorrila pit and Mordor?

One does not simply walk into Mordor

Speak Jokes More Speak Jokes

Why are there exactly two hundred and thirty nine beans in an Irish Bean Soup?

Because if there were one more, it'd be two forty. (Too farty) This works much better when spoken out loud. The joke how Irish people pronounce "forty."

What would Bill Nye be called if he spoke to ghosts?

Bill Nye the Seance guy.

Mouth Jokes More Mouth Jokes

What's difference between a chickpea and a lentil?

I've never paid to have a lentil in my mouth.

How do you know that the drum riser is level?

The drummer dribbles out of both corners of his mouth

Mute Jokes More Mute Jokes

What did the mute say to the priest?

Nothing

How do mute people tell each others secrets?

They put on mittens.

Ampnbsp Jokes More Ampnbsp Jokes

Who wins in a fight: Goku or Superman?

Wrong, Batman always wins.   Yes, I do have the sense of humor of a 5 year old.

What do you call someone who knows all?

Nostril-damus. &ampnbsp Works better if you read the joke out loud.