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What'sApp Me: Mom, what's for dinner?

Mom: typing... *gets married* *have kids* *gets old* *dies* *goes to hell* Mom: Fish, honey!

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Kid Jokes More Kid Jokes

How do they pick kids for the Make-A-Wish Foundation?

Natural selection.

Why do sandwiches never have kids?

Because they always turn out in-bread.

Mom Jokes More Mom Jokes

What's similar between you mom and a bottle of Tide detergent?

They can both take about 65 loads.

Why is my mom always right about everything?

Because she said so and that's final.

Marry Jokes More Marry Jokes

Where do rabbits go after they get married?

On a bunny-moon.

What did Jay Z call his girlfriend before they got married?

His Feyonce.

Type Jokes More Type Jokes

What type of truck takes a very long time to reach its destination?

A log n truck.

What type of bonds deals with the bad guys?

James

Fish Jokes More Fish Jokes

What kind of fish is made of two sodium atoms?

2 Na!

Why did the mafia boss get banned from the aquarium?

He was sleeping with the fishes.

Hell Jokes More Hell Jokes

Who the hell does that in a sock?

Squishes out of the room*

Why do only 10% of men make it to heaven?

Because if they all went, it would be Hell.

Dinner Jokes More Dinner Jokes

Where're you going?

Me: To dinner with my friends! Mom: Your friends Me: I'm going to use McDonalds' free Wifi to get on twitter...

What do we have for dinner? Wookie steak. Is it any good?

Well its a little Chewy

Honey Jokes More Honey Jokes

Why is revenge a dish best served with honey?

Because honey is what you find at the end of bee trails (betrayals)

Why did the bees go on strike?

Because they wanted more honey and shorter working flowers!