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What spends a good 3 hours a day in my hand?

Hint* it starts with P and ends with S. Pens! :D... wait what were YOU THINKING!!!

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Start Jokes More Start Jokes

How does the Mexican national anthem start?

Jose can you see.....

What do you get when you cross an insomniac, an unwilling agnostic, and a dyslexic?

Somebody who stays up all night torturing himself mentally over the question whether or not theres a dog.

Think Jokes More Think Jokes

What do you think you're doing parking your car there?

Motorist: I thought it was good place. It says "Safety Zone."

Why is the Math Book so sad?

It has so many problems! -Sorry doing a whole bunch of math today and i thought of this.

Hand Jokes More Hand Jokes

What did one hand say to the other?

Help, I think I'm in glove".

How do you stop a baby from crawling in a circle?

Nail it's other hand to the floor.

End Jokes More End Jokes

What is formed at the end of mitosis?

My nailses

What does a gamer call the zombie apocalypse?

The end of DayZ

Spend Jokes More Spend Jokes

Why do you think I spend too much time at my computer?

Well dear... Every time I ask you to close the windows you answer with "Please wait while your computer shuts down"...

What do you call someone who spends the whole time on their phone whenever you hang out?

A phoney friend!

P Jokes More P Jokes

What's the difference between LSD and LDS (Latter Day Saints)?

One you take with a sugar cube, the other with a grain of salt

What did Batman say to robin before they got in the car?

Get in the car

Wait Jokes More Wait Jokes

How does an elephant climb a tree?

He hides in an acorn and waits for a bird to carry him up.

What do bees do if they want to use public transport?

Wait at a buzz stop!

Hint Jokes More Hint Jokes

Which Norse God consistently uses VPNs?

Ill give you a hint, he remains very low-key.

What spends a good 3 hours a day in my hand?

Hint* it starts with P and ends with S. Pens! :D... wait what were YOU THINKING!!!