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What would Ronald Reagan be doing if he were alive today?

He'd be scratching at the lid of his coffin yelling, "Let me out! I'm alive! Let me out!!"

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Let Jokes More Let Jokes

What did Moses say when he wanted to see through his door?

Let my peephole grow!

What would Ronald Reagan be doing if he were alive today?

He'd be scratching at the lid of his coffin yelling, "Let me out! I'm alive! Let me out!!"

Scratch Jokes More Scratch Jokes

Why can't DJs play pool?

They always scratch.

What is the difference between a dog and a viola?

The dog knows when to stop scratching.

Today Jokes More Today Jokes

What are cooking for us today?

Dingo: I'm making my famous baby coleslaw

What is today's special at Google's employee cafeteria?

Alphabet Soup.

Yell Jokes More Yell Jokes

What's the difference between my guitar and my girlfriend?

My guitar doesn't yell at me when I snap it's g-string

Why are the mountains in Switzerland called "the Alps"?

Because when people fall off of 'em, they yell AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLPPPP!!!!!!!!

Coffin Jokes More Coffin Jokes

What would George Washington do if he were alive right now?

Scream and scratch at the top of his coffin.

What do a coffin and a condom have in common?

They're both filled with stiffs one's coming one's going.

Ronald Reagan Jokes More Ronald Reagan Jokes

What's Ronald Reagan's favorite vegetable?

James Brady

Why Do Republican Couples Keep A Copy Of Ronald Reagan's Biography Next To Their Bed?

So that it can be used as an

Lid Jokes More Lid Jokes

What would Marilyn Monroe being doing if she were alive today?

Clawing at the lid of her coffin.

What did the can say to the can opener?

You make me flip my lid.