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What would Ronald Reagan be doing if he were alive today?

He'd be scratching at the lid of his coffin yelling, "Let me out! I'm alive! Let me out!!"

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Let Jokes More Let Jokes

What's the one thing a hoarder has no trouble letting go of?

Their mind

What am I called?

Ant: *checks, shuts book* Let's not focus on labels

Scratch Jokes More Scratch Jokes

What does a child with stickers have in common with a cocaine addicted DJ?

They both love to scratch and sniff. (sorry if it's a repost I'm not here often)

How'd you get the scratches?

Flash back to me bathing my cat* -Uh, this chick bro. Yeah.

Today Jokes More Today Jokes

How are you today?

Me: Tim.

Who forgot his phone charger today?

THIS gu

Yell Jokes More Yell Jokes

How many SRSers does it take to change a lightbulb?

None. They wait for the electrician to make a mistake and yell at them for doing it wrong.

What do you call a grandpa who couldn't understand why his email wanted to upload his attachment to share it?

An old man yelling at the cloud

Coffin Jokes More Coffin Jokes

What did one casket say to the other?

Is that you coffin?

What's the difference between a viola and a coffin?

With a coffin, the dead person is on the inside.

Ronald Reagan Jokes More Ronald Reagan Jokes

Why doesn't Ronald Reagan drink orange juice?

Because he's dead.

Why Do Republican Couples Keep A Copy Of Ronald Reagan's Biography Next To Their Bed?

So that it can be used as an

Lid Jokes More Lid Jokes

What would Hellen Keller be doing if she were alive today?

Clawing at the lid of the coffin.

What did the can say to the can opener?

You make me flip my lid.