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2020 Jokes

Who do you see winning the presidency in 4 years?

I don't know, I don't have 2020 vision.

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Why do people keep asking me what I'm going to be doing in three years?

I don't have 2020 vision.

What do you think you're going to be doing in 5 years?

Me: I dont know, I dont have 2020 vision

Where do you see yourself in three years?

Me: Sorry, I don't have 2020 vision

What should Bernie Sanders' next presidential campaign be called?

Hindsight is 2020

Who would you like for president in 2020?

Anyone who doesn't have poor visions.

Why are your eyes covered in ketchup?

I'm often asked by people: "Why are your eyes covered in ketchup " So I tell them it's because Heinz sight is 20/20.

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Presidency Jokes More Presidency Jokes

Who do you see winning the presidency in 4 years?

I don't know, I don't have 2020 vision.

What do you call a show about The Donald winning the presidency?

Orange is the New Black

5 Year Jokes More 5 Year Jokes

Why TELL you when I can SHOW you?

Then just sit there for 5 years.

What do you think you're going to be doing in 5 years?

Me: I dont know, I dont have 2020 vision

Think Jokes More Think Jokes

Who's there! Cellar! Cellar who?

Cellar. No I think she can be repaired!

Whats a Pirates favorite letter?

Ya'll think it's the Arrr but it be the Ceeee

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

What does one call an undertaker that's been drafted into the Military?

A Corpseman. Painfully obvious, yet a terrible play on the English language, I know. It was something I came up with a few years ago, for some unknown reason.

What is the worst about having alzheimer's and dierrhea?

You're running but don't know where to.

President Jokes More President Jokes

Why should we elect Gabe Newell as President of the United States?

So there won't be a World War III.

How are that many Republicans candidates supposed to debate each other at once?

Throw a dollar bill in the floor and let the last one alive run for president.

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

What did the homeless man say to the woman who asked if he wanted 20$?

Yeah.

What are homeless ducks always asking for?

A lil bit of quack

People Jokes More People Jokes

Why were people in the Medieval times so self absorbed?

Because they thought that they were the center of the universe.

Why has the Malaysian Government banned Cheese Boards?

Because people keep reporting they've found de brie.

2020 Vision Jokes More 2020 Vision Jokes

Why do people keep asking me what I'm going to be doing in three years?

I don't have 2020 vision.

What do you think you're going to be doing in 5 years?

Me: I dont know, I dont have 2020 vision