2020 Jokes

Who do you see winning the presidency in 4 years?

I don't know, I don't have 2020 vision.

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Why do people keep asking me what I'm going to be doing in three years?

I don't have 2020 vision.

What do you think you're going to be doing in 5 years?

Me: I dont know, I dont have 2020 vision

Where do you see yourself in three years?

Me: Sorry, I don't have 2020 vision

What should Bernie Sanders' next presidential campaign be called?

Hindsight is 2020

Who would you like for president in 2020?

Anyone who doesn't have poor visions.

Why are your eyes covered in ketchup?

I'm often asked by people: "Why are your eyes covered in ketchup " So I tell them it's because Heinz sight is 20/20.

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Hin Dsight Jokes More Hin Dsight Jokes

What do you call it when a helicopter pilot reflects on his life?

HINDsight

What should Bernie Sanders' next presidential campaign be called?

Hindsight is 2020

Think Jokes More Think Jokes

Why'd the blonde snort a line of Splenda?

She thought it was diet coke

Why was most of Jesus' walk downtown very awkward?

Because his friend asked him when he thought they should cross.

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

How many Canadians does it take to change a light bulb?

Just two. One to politely ask and the other to politely help.

Why would my wife ask if I was wearing this shirt when it's already on?

Stop talking in secret code.

People Jokes More People Jokes

How many IT people does it take to change a light bulb?

Do you have a ticket for that?

What did the man in the "Race for a Cure" say to the three people beside him?

We're walking four abreast.

President Jokes More President Jokes

What would you call the Easter egg roll if Bernie Sanders became president?

Weekend at Bernie's.

Why should we elect Gabe Newell as President of the United States?

So there won't be a World War III.

Bernie Sanders Jokes More Bernie Sanders Jokes

What does Bernie Sanders say when he gets a haircut?

Remove only the top 1% please.

What did Bernie Sanders say when he found a dead body at a Democratic Party meeting to select candidates and decide policy?

Oh god, a caucus!" cuz he has a new england accent

Like Jokes More Like Jokes

Why are there no casinos in China?

Because the Chinese don't like Tibet...

Why don't you invite a Comcast worker to your party?

Because nobody likes his company!

Presidency Jokes More Presidency Jokes

What do you call a show about The Donald winning the presidency?

Orange is the New Black

Who do you see winning the presidency in 4 years?

I don't know, I don't have 2020 vision.