60 Jokes

What happens when a pirate turns 60?

He joins AARP

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What shape is produced when you knock over a 60s actress?

A Tippihedron

What has eight arms and an IQ of 60?

Four guys watching a football game.

What has 5 teeth and 60 eyes?

A bus full of old people

What has 60 legs and 8 teeth?

The front row of a Country concert

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American Jokes More American Jokes

What did King George think of the American colonists?

He thought they were revolting!

How did the dyslexic American mathematician sing the first line of his national anthem?

Oh secant, you say

60 Pound Jokes More 60 Pound Jokes

What is the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?

About 60 pounds.

How did Jared Fogel lose 60 pounds?

He broke up with his girlfriend.

Pun Jokes More Pun Jokes

What do you call a pun in a marathon?

A running joke

Which one of the ten men won the pun contest?

No pun in ten did!

Shed Jokes More Shed Jokes

What time is it when planes start dropping engines?

Shedding season

Why do trees shed their leaves in fall?

Because they've had their chloro-fill.

Shout Jokes More Shout Jokes

What's the difference between Here and There?

When you're right the whole room shouts "Here, here!" But when you're wrong one person pats you on the back and says "There, there."

What do Batman's parents shout when dinners ready?

NOTHING, BECAUSE THEY'RE DEAD.

Supreme Jokes More Supreme Jokes

Why do Italians throw pizza onto the field after they win a match?

Because they rain supreme.

Turn Jokes More Turn Jokes

What did the IT guy say to his wife after she complained about their love life?

Did you try turning me off and on again?

Why can't an IT guy be a doctor?

Nurse: Doctor, the patient's life support is acting strange... Doctor: Have you tried turning it off and on again?

Think Jokes More Think Jokes

What's faster, the speed of thought or the speed of light?

Neither, it's diarrhea. Before you could think about it or even turn the lights on, you've already shat yourself.

Why do Americans get manuals when buying a new car?

I thought they only drive automatic