Astro Jokes

What kind of knots only exist in space?

Astro-knots.

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How many Astros fans does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Both of them.

How many Astros fans does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Both of them.

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Thing Jokes More Thing Jokes

Why is your January report card so bad?

Son: Well you know how it is. Things are always marked down after Christmas!

How many Nickelback fans does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Trick question! There's no such thing as Nickelback fans. (I will be hated by few)

Spider Jokes More Spider Jokes

What does Spider-Man wear when it gets cold out?

A Peter Parka

Which web developer enjoys finding bugs?

A spider!

Mar Jokes More Mar Jokes

Why is there no life on Mars?

No WiFi...

Who says there's no life on Mars?

Why only today they found a Beagle!

David Bowie Jokes More David Bowie Jokes

What are Gene Wilder and David Bowie getting for Christmas this year?

Betty White.

What was David Bowie's last hit?

Probably Morphine

Space Jokes More Space Jokes

What do you call a space agency that doesn't go to space?

NASA.

Why do astronauts bring their phone into space?

Because they can get 4g

Screw Jokes More Screw Jokes

How many gnats does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

It only takes two, but the trick is getting them in the lightbulb.

How many members of Coldplay does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one, but he has to see Radiohead do it first.

Lightbulb Jokes More Lightbulb Jokes

How Many Wal-Mart Workers Does it Take to Screw In a Lightbulb?

One to screw in the lightbulb, stock four carts of supplies, and handle seventeen simultaneous customers at any one time for five consecutive hours.

How many PMSing women does it take to change a lightbulb?

Six. Why? It just does! OKAY!

Use Jokes More Use Jokes

What did the LGBT art teacher tell the kids to use when their projects needed glue?

Wait for it... wait for it...) brucilage!!!!!!!!

How do ducks fly high?

They use quack!