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Axe Jokes

What do people and trees have in common?

They both fall down when you hit them with an axe.

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What happens if an axe falls on your car?

You have an ax-i-dent (accident).

How to tell if you're wearing too much Axe: 1. Are you wearing Axe?

No- Good. Yes- That's too much.

What do you call a midget with an axe?

A battle dwarf

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Midget Jokes More Midget Jokes

What do you call a budget that's cut short from the middle?

A midget.

How did the midget feel after sleeping all night in a coffin?

A little stiff.

Cause Jokes More Cause Jokes

Why can't Michael Jackson drive backwards in a car?

Cause he's dead.

How do you know that William Wallace is normally distributed?

Cause he has infinite degrees of FREEEEEDOM!!!

Wood Jokes More Wood Jokes

How did Pinocchio figure out he was made of wood?

He was jacking off one day and his hand caught on fire.

What do you call a 2x4 that lost its family to a fire?

Mourning wood

Axis Jokes More Axis Jokes

Why was the horizontal plane judged in Germany?

It was x-axis

How do beer companies track their sales?

On dos axes

Car Jokes More Car Jokes

Why are cars in Russia so slow?

Because they are always stalin.

What do you get when you cross a bridge with a car?

You get to the other side.

Face Jokes More Face Jokes

What's the difference between a chickpee and a garbanzo bean?

I'd never let a garbanzo bean on my face

What's the difference... between a gazpacho bean and a chickpea?

I've never had a gazpacho bean on my face.

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

What'd u ask Santa for 6: a speed boat M: like a Lego boat?

6: no M: oh for the bath 6: no M: the pool 6: *doesnt break eye contact* no

How do you spell ichael?

The teacher was rather bewildered. "Don't you mean Michael " she asked. "No ma'am. I've written the 'M' already."

Invent Jokes More Invent Jokes

How about if I put a balloon over it?

Would you touch it then " -guy who invented condoms

How did they invent break dancing?

Trying to steal the hubcaps off a moving car.