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Balloon Jokes

How are a hobo and a balloon alike?

Both are without visible means of support. (My son found that in a children's joke book)

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What kind of music do balloons hate the most?

Pop music.

Why should you never give Elsa a balloon?

She'll let it go!

Why can't you give Elsa a balloon?

Because she will "Let It Go.

What do you get when you take a needle to a balloon filled with yogurt?

Pop culture

Why is it a bad idea to give Elsa a balloon?

Because she'll "Let it go! Let it go!" This joke was made up by my 5 year old nephew.

What goes 'peck bang peck bang peck bang'?

A bunch of chickens in a field full of balloons!

How about if I put a balloon over it?

Would you touch it then " -guy who invented condoms

Why shouldn't you give Elsa a balloon?

Because she'd just "let it go". My 6 year old told me this. I will show myself out now...

Why can't you give a balloon to Elsa?

Because she'll Let It Go.

Why should you never give Queen Elsa a balloon?

Because she'll just let it go.

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Where the hell are you going with those balloons?

4yr: I need to wee! Me: With balloons! 4yr: Its so much fun to wee with balloons

What do you call a blonde holding a balloon?

Siamese twins.

Why were there balloons in the bathroom?

There was a birthday potty.

Why is Elsa not allowed a balloon?

Because she'll let it goooo

Why can't Elsa hold a balloon?

Because she might Let it Go

Who's there! Balloon! Balloon who?

Balloon velvet!

What do you call a balloon that glows in the dark?

A Led Zeppelin

Why did the balloon go near the needle?

Why did the balloon go near the needle He wanted to be a pop star.

Why couldn't Elsa hold on to a balloon?

She would always let it go.

What type of music do balloons hate?

Pop music!

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Needle Jokes More Needle Jokes

Why did the balloon go near the needle?

Why did the balloon go near the needle He wanted to be a pop star.

Why are Christmas trees like bad knitters?

They both drop their needles!

Let Jokes More Let Jokes

Why is it called Justice League of America?

Do they follow territorial boundaries? If the Kaos Kommandos start a brawl in El Paso and it rolls over into Juarez, do they say "screw it, let Justice League of Mexico handle it"? (Sorry if this isn't technically a joke; it was my shower thought this morning and I thought it was funny.)

How many retweets to let me take your sister to prom?

A student walks up to his friend a week before prom and asks, "Hey, how many Twitter retweets do i have to get to take your sister to prom?" His friend says, "Dude, she was abducted! She's been missing 3 weeks, you know this!" The student says, "So you're saying if i find her, i can take her?"

Child Jokes More Child Jokes

What about you?

Me: define "child"

How does a Chinese family name their children?

They throw 3-9 pots and pans down a flight of stairs.

Package Jokes More Package Jokes

What is the last step in manufacturing Tickle-Me-Elmo's before packaging and shipping to stores?

Give it two test-tickles.

How much for this melted ghost?

Sir that's a bed sheet "You have a lot of them! And they're packaged IS THIS GHOST HELL" This is a Macys

Girl Jokes More Girl Jokes

What do you call a girl who's preventing you from reaching your goal?

A keeper

What do you call a group of girls all named Paige?

A chapter.

Air Jokes More Air Jokes

What lies upside down a hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.

What does it mean when a man is in your bed, gasping for air, and calling your name?

You didn't hold down the pillow for long enough.

Pop Star Jokes More Pop Star Jokes

What did one Pop star say to the other?

Sia, Later!

Which former pop star would be most likely to help deliver a baby?

Paula Ab-doula

Hate Jokes More Hate Jokes

What are the two words men hate most unless used together?

Don't Stop

Why'd the factory worker hate their job?

Because it was soda pressing.