None. The light bulb shall never burn out. (OK. It's more cathartic than funny...)
They say the business is toast.
Diet Coke.
Crack-a-lacking
Imagine all the people..
To say Hello from the other side. I called you a million times.
The phone rang while she was ironing!
When it's piping hot.
A crackhead buys crack so he can put it into his pipe and burn it. A John pays so that he can put his pipe into a crack that might burn him.
Nice scarf! Must be cold where you came from! Do you guys want coffee?
A Mugging.
Fire.
Fire in the hole!
Because his uncles are aunts.
It takes too long to hollow out her head. (I got this one from my uncle)
God doesn't think he's a lawyer.
Spit, sallow, and gargle.
