Carve Jokes

Why did I carve a heart with me and my boyfriends initials into a tree?

To sharpen the knife

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What's the best way to carve wood?

Whittle by whittle.

How do you get 27 kids to carve a statue?

Have everybody chip in.

What do stupid kids do at Halloween?

They carve a face on an apple and go bobbing for pumpkins.

How do you start a stampede in Ethiopia?

Carve a turkey

What's brown and white and flies all over?

Thanksgiving turkey when you carve it with a chain saw!

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Sharpen Jokes More Sharpen Jokes

How does a French blacksmith sharpen his blade?

He hon(hon hon)s it.

What did the cat use to sharpen its claws?

Me. Ow.

Bob Jokes More Bob Jokes

How did Bob loose his job at the sperm bank?

He was always drinking on the job

What do you call a man in the middle of the ocean with no arms or legs?

Bob

Turkey Jokes More Turkey Jokes

What did the turkey say to the turkey hunter?

Quack! Quack! Quack!

What do you call Turkey's revolting soldiers?

The Coup Clucks Clan.

Knife Jokes More Knife Jokes

Why does a redneck hold a knife while driving?

So he can cut corners.

Why did the knife quit?

It couldn't CUT IT! woohoo! I made this one up while sitting at a buffet table. Enjoy! Skip

Good Way Jokes More Good Way Jokes

What's the best way to send a letter to Prince Charles?

Heir mail

What's the best way to start an underwear presentation?

Start with a brief introduction.

Boyfriend Jokes More Boyfriend Jokes

What do you do if your boyfriend walks out?

Close the door.

Why did the German girl count to three, then cry?

Because her boyfriend was going in.

Fly Jokes More Fly Jokes

What is smaller than a teeny weenie fly?

A fly's teeny weenie.

Why don't you shoo those flies?

Bull: I'll let them go barefoot!

Wood Jokes More Wood Jokes

Why do they call wood carving "whittling"?

Because you start with a bigger piece of wood, and you make it whittler.

What is the worst kind of wood to have in your home around your kids?

Naughty pine