Carve Jokes

What's the best way to carve wood?

Whittle by whittle.

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How do you get 27 kids to carve a statue?

Have everybody chip in.

What's brown and white and flies all over?

Thanksgiving turkey when you carve it with a chain saw!

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What's the best way to see a charging herd of elephants?

On television!

What's the best way to get to the mental hospital?

Take the psychopath!!

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How does Vladimir Putin like his Thanksgiving turkey?

Nuked

What's brown and white and flies all over?

Thanksgiving turkey when you carve it with a chain saw!

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What did they Deer say when she came out of the woods?

"I will never do that again for 2 bucks " My reply: Ha Ha!

What did the necrophiliac get after his wife died?

Mourning wood.

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What magazine makes cows stampede to the newsstand?

Cows-mopolitan!

What do you call a stampede that runs in circles?

NASCOW

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Why is everyone smiling at me today?

Checks fly* *no pants* Aaaah.

Why don't seagulls fly over bays?

Because then they'd be called bagels!

Ethiopia Jokes More Ethiopia Jokes

How do you start a raid in Ethiopia?

Staple food to the ceiling!

What's the fastest animal in the world?

A chicken crossing Ethiopia. What's the second fastest animal... The ethiopian chasing it.

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Why did the vampire sit on a pumpkin?

It wanted to play squash.

What do Mountain folk do on Halloween?

Pumpkin.

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Who started the campfire website?

Some bright spark.

How do you know when a woman's about to say something smart?

When she starts her sentence with "A man once told me".