Cocaine Addict Jokes

What did the cocaine addict say to his drug of choice?

I'm kinda busy, I won't be able to stay any longer, smell ya later" PS: the addict died that day from severe delusions that his coke was talking blanket, lot of coke....

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What type of stories do cocaine addicts write?

Snort stories

What's the difference between a newspaper and a cocaine addict?

One has headlines, and the other gives head for lines.

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Blanket Jokes More Blanket Jokes

What's the worst gift to give to an anti-vaxxer?

Blankets.

What does a blanket say to the other after a game of chess?

Well plaid.

Love Jokes More Love Jokes

Why do so many girls do archaeology degrees?

Because they love digging up the past.

Why did the woman fall in love with the surgeon?

Because he cauterize.

Headline Jokes More Headline Jokes

What's the difference between a newspaper and a cocaine addict?

One has headlines, and the other gives head for lines.

Why did North Korea tell South Korea not to crow about the recent agreement?

Because they'd rather see them raven. Obligatory apology: saw a headline and couldn't resist.

Ya Jokes More Ya Jokes

What'll ya have?

Cat: Shot of rum. Bartender pours it Cat slowly pushes it off the bar Cat: Another.

What do ya call a bunch of guys breaking into a music store and helping themselves to the stringed instruments?

Luters.

Cocaine Jokes More Cocaine Jokes

What's the difference between a bag of cocaine and a baby?

Eric Clapton wouldn't let a bag of cocaine fall out a window.

What's the difference between a baby and a kilo of cocaine?

Eric Clapton wouldn't let a kilo of cocaine fall out of a window.

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

What do you need to have to do the dishes when you don't want to?

Dishcipline This is literally a joke I told in a dream and I remembered it when waking up.

How does she tell them apart?

Their last names.

Story Jokes More Story Jokes

How do stories from Justin Biebers early childhood begin?

A few months ago

What stories are told by basketball players?

Tall stories!

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between Reddit and 9Gag?

About 5 seconds.

What's the difference between The Rolling Stones and Scotsman?

The Rolling Stones say "Hey, you, get off of my cloud." A Scotsman says "Hey, McCloud, get off of my ewe."