Cocaine Addict Jokes

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Blanket Jokes More Blanket Jokes

How do you make antifreeze?

Take away her blanket!

What does a blanket say to the other after a game of chess?

Well plaid.

Sniff Jokes More Sniff Jokes

Why can't you sniff out Easter Eggs?

In a tone like you have no idea) "No bunny nose" -Made up this morning in bed to a very dissatisfied girlfriend

What kind of dog sniffs out new flowers?

A bud hound!

Newspaper Jokes More Newspaper Jokes

What's black white and read all over?

A newspaper.

Which is the most dangerous page of the newspaper?

C4.

Head Jokes More Head Jokes

What did Captain Kirk do in the head?

He Shatner.

Why does a witch wear a pointed black hat?

To keep her head warm.

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

What did Arnold Schwarzenegger say when someone told him to upgrade to Windows 7?

I still love vista, baby

What is Checkmate?

You tell your Wife, "I saw a lady, looked exactly like you" Wife asks, "WAS SHE BEAUTIFUL?" You cant say 'NO' You cant say 'YES' That is Checkmate!

Love Jokes More Love Jokes

Why do NBA players like poultry?

Because they love to slam duck!

What's the difference between lust, love, and just plain showing off?

Spitting, Swallowing, and gargling.

Credit Jokes More Credit Jokes

What doctors shop at Barnes and Noble?

Doctors without Borders. Credit to Max Scoville.

Why were they called the dark ages?

Because there were so many knights! Credit: watching Mr. D on Netflix

Die Jokes More Die Jokes

What does a shooting star say to his buddy before he dies?

Meet me - oh, right..

Why is there a fence around the graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!