Dead Bird Jokes

What does have eyes but can't see, has legs but can't walk, and has wings but can't fly?

A dead bird.

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What has two eyes but can't see, two wings but can't fly, and two legs but can't walk?

A dead bird.

What do you call a dead bird that was suicidal?

A Robin Williams.

What has wings but can't fly, legs but can't walk, and a mouth but can't speak?

A dead bird

What did u do last night?

Me: I drowned my swallows in whiskey Don't u mean sorrows Me covering tub of dead birds: is that the saying

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Night Jokes More Night Jokes

Why do cicadas stay up all night chirping irregularly, unable to sleep?

Their cicadan rhythm is off

What do you get when......you cross a religious skeptic, a dyslexic, and an insomniac?

A person who lays awake at night wondering if there really is a dog.

Tub Jokes More Tub Jokes

What did u do last night?

Me: I drowned my swallows in whiskey Don't u mean sorrows Me covering tub of dead birds: is that the saying

What's the difference between America and a tub of yogurt?

After 200 years the yogurt would have developed some kind of culture.

Mean Jokes More Mean Jokes

Where are the groceries?

ME: Bacon was on sale. WIFE: Oh god, what does that mean *sound of dump truck backing into driveway*

What "YSK" means?

Everyone keeps telling me that I should know...

Robin Williams Jokes More Robin Williams Jokes

What's the difference between a Southern wedding and a Southern tornado?

Nothing - either way someone's gonna lose a trailer *shamelessly stolen from Robin Williams

What is Robin Williams doing in heaven?

Not sure, probably just hanging out.

Mouth Jokes More Mouth Jokes

What's black and white and black and white and black and white and green?

A skunk rolling down a hill with a pickle in its mouth.

What happens if you cross a parrot with a Gorilla?

Nobody is sure but if it opened its mouth to speak you'd listen!

Leg Jokes More Leg Jokes

What has got four legs and an arm?

A Rottweiler in a playground.

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pile of leaves?

Russell

Fly Jokes More Fly Jokes

Why couldn't the monk who flew a helicopter understand the monk who flew commercial jets?

Because he was on a higher plane.

How much do flying broomsticks cost at Hogwarts?

Quid each.

Eye Jokes More Eye Jokes

Why do Iraqi police officers walk in threes?

The first knows how to read the second knows how to write and the third is to keep an eye on the two intellectuals.

What did Louis Farrakahn say to Mike Tyson after the fight?

No stupid an Eye for an Eye!!!!