Dead Bird Jokes

What does have eyes but can't see, has legs but can't walk, and has wings but can't fly?

A dead bird.

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What has two eyes but can't see, two wings but can't fly, and two legs but can't walk?

A dead bird.

What has wings but can't fly, legs but can't walk, and a mouth but can't speak?

A dead bird

What did u do last night?

Me: I drowned my swallows in whiskey Don't u mean sorrows Me covering tub of dead birds: is that the saying

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Drown Jokes More Drown Jokes

Why can't Ross & Phoebe ever drown?

Because David Schwimmer and Lisa Kudrow.

What does it look like when someone is drowning?

Lol

Whiskey Jokes More Whiskey Jokes

What is a proctologist's drink of choice?

Two fingers of whiskey.

What is the difference between a beautiful dress and a bottle of Whisky?

A beautiful dress can make one girl look gorgeous... A bottle of whiskey can make all girls look gorgeous.

Speak Jokes More Speak Jokes

How did it work?

We haven't spoken for five years".

Why Couldn't Anyone Understand The Mute Mathematician's?

They didn't speak sine language.

Leg Jokes More Leg Jokes

What do you cal a man with no arms and no legs fighting with his cat?

Claude

What do you call a kid with no arms and no legs?

Names

Walk Jokes More Walk Jokes

Why do some birds fly south for the winter?

Its to far to walk.

Why did the man get kicked out of the "Russian" bar?

Because he walked in.

Fly Jokes More Fly Jokes

Why do birds fly south for the winter?

Because it's too far to walk.

Why does a seagull fly over the sea?

Because if it flew over the bay it would be a bagel!

Wing Jokes More Wing Jokes

What do you call a fly without wings?

Paste unoriginal joke here)

Why is it so difficult to call Chinese people?

There's so many wings it's easy to wing the wong number.

Robin Williams Jokes More Robin Williams Jokes

What do you call a sad suicidal bird?

A Robin Williams.

What's the difference between a Southern wedding and a Southern tornado?

Nothing - either way someone's gonna lose a trailer *shamelessly stolen from Robin Williams