Dead Bird Jokes

What does have eyes but can't see, has legs but can't walk, and has wings but can't fly?

A dead bird.

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What has two eyes but can't see, two wings but can't fly, and two legs but can't walk?

A dead bird.

What has wings but can't fly, legs but can't walk, and a mouth but can't speak?

A dead bird

What did u do last night?

Me: I drowned my swallows in whiskey Don't u mean sorrows Me covering tub of dead birds: is that the saying

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Mouth Jokes More Mouth Jokes

What kind of soldier doesn't need bullets?

The kind of soldier that's always shooting his mouth off.

What will men do for pleasure at that time?

God: *sigh* Fine. Mouths. But they'll talk. A lot.

Mean Jokes More Mean Jokes

What do you mean I can't identify as a television?

Just watch me!

What do you mean I can't change the past?

Logs on to Wikipedia*

Cover Jokes More Cover Jokes

Why does the Asian News Anchor not stand up from behind his desk during presidential races?

Because he's covering an erection!

What Should Make A Book Teacher: "What Should Be In A Book To Make It A Bestseller?

Jorkens: "A Girl On The Cover & No Cover On The Girl"

Leg Jokes More Leg Jokes

What do you call a cow with two legs?

Your mother!

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs inside a volcano?

Anakin Skywalker. (Happy Geek Pride Day!)

Fly Jokes More Fly Jokes

What's green and yellow and can't fly?

Brazilian soccer players.

What does R. Kelly have in common with Malaysian Airlines?

They both think they can fly.

Eye Jokes More Eye Jokes

What do you call a chicken with lettuce in its eye?

Chicken Caesar salad.

How do hurricanes see?

With one eye

Speak Jokes More Speak Jokes

Why couldn't the pony speak clearly?

He was a little hoarse.

Why do golf commentators speak softly?

To not wake the audience.

Night Jokes More Night Jokes

What did u do last night?

Me: I drowned my swallows in whiskey Don't u mean sorrows Me covering tub of dead birds: is that the saying

What do you call a person who you had a one night stand with on Mars?

A solmate