Elect Jokes

How did the U. S. elect an Orange as president?

Gerrymandarin.

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What's one advantage of electing a woman president of the United States?

We wouldn't have to pay her as much.

How do you get elected president of my pants?

By the vote of the Erectional College...

Why should we elect Gabe Newell as President of the United States?

So there won't be a World War III.

How do you know Bernie Sanders got elected?

All your stuff has been donated to charity

What do you get when you elect Bernie Sander's son as president?

A son Bern

What do you call the first black guy elected to the White House?

Precedent.

How do you know when a joke has gone too far?

It's elected President.

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Electoral College Jokes More Electoral College Jokes

How was the election rigged?

Through the Electoral College.

What do you get when you give your kids participation trophies?

The electoral college in 2016.

Mayor Jokes More Mayor Jokes

Why did the Mayor take so long to endorse a Presidential candidate?

Because he was running on CP time.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Her: Because she had heard that the mayor was going to lay a cornerstone and she wanted to see if he could really do it.

Result Jokes More Result Jokes

Who is the brother of Juan Luna?

Edi si AnTWOnio Luna. Yeah yeah, the result of being stuck in the traffic.

What did the doctor tell the panda bear after the results of his child's paternity test came back?

I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but the results are a bit grizzly.

Dog Jokes More Dog Jokes

Why do we call dogs, K-9?

Because K-10 is for cats.

Why were the Chinese trying to light a bbq grill out in the rain?

Because it was raining cats and dogs.

Orange Jokes More Orange Jokes

What Is The Best Boxing A Mexican Does?

Oranges.

How about baked chocolate cake?

Nah" "Yummy choccy bake " "No" Guy who named the orange: I have an idea...

Want Jokes More Want Jokes

Where would an eccentric beverage go if it wanted to watch married couplesfight and read high quality humor columns?

To the Drink Quirks Wed Fight.

What kind of bug wants to buy lawn turf?

A gras shopper.

Believe Jokes More Believe Jokes

How is evolution and a Union construction job similar?

They take so long that some people don't believe they don't work.

Why don't atheists use exponents?

Because they don't believe in higher powers.

Rig Jokes More Rig Jokes

Why couldn't Hillary rig the election like she rigged the DNC?

She deleted that email.

How was the election rigged?

Through the Electoral College.