Elect Jokes

How did the U. S. elect an Orange as president?

Gerrymandarin.

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

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Coffee Mug

What do you call a dog who got re-elected for mayor?

A dog with pawlitical experience.

What's one advantage of electing a woman president of the United States?

We wouldn't have to pay her as much.

What's the difference between an elected official and a piece of garbage?

Garbage gets thrown out.

How do you get elected president of my pants?

By the vote of the Erectional College...

Why should we elect Gabe Newell as President of the United States?

So there won't be a World War III.

How do you know Bernie Sanders got elected?

All your stuff has been donated to charity

What do you get when you elect Bernie Sander's son as president?

A son Bern

What do you call the first black guy elected to the White House?

Precedent.

Why do you need to be 35 to be elected president?

So women don't get elected.

How do you know when a joke has gone too far?

It's elected President.

Couple's Daily Question Mug

5.0

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Why are kids with DS getting elected prom kings and queens?

Either way, they're going down in history.

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Clown Jokes More Clown Jokes

Why don't we hear cannibal jokes anymore?

Because after they ate the clowns, nothing is funny.

Where do clowns live?

In a Clown Hall.

Roll Jokes More Roll Jokes

What do you call Stephen Hawking rolling away from an explosion?

Hot wheels (First joke, hope you like it.)

What goes Black-White, Black-White, Black-White?

A panda bear rolling down a hill.

Speed Jokes More Speed Jokes

What does "Maginot Line" get translated to in English?

Speed bump ahead

What did the cow say to the police officer, giving a speeding ticket?

Miav.

U. S. Jokes More U. S. Jokes

How do people in other countries tell if kids are using drugs?

Here in the U.S. we just ask them how many grams are in an ounce.

How much liquid can Monica Lewinskys mouth hold?

One U.S. Liter

President Jokes More President Jokes

How are that many Republicans candidates supposed to debate each other at once?

Throw a dollar bill in the floor and let the last one alive run for president.

What did the US President with Alzheimer's ask his wife?

Who are you

Supporter Jokes More Supporter Jokes

Why do you see so many Bernie Posts on r/all?

Because supporters of other candidates are out working or voting.

Why won't anti vaxers ever win an election?

All their supporters are home with sick kids

Believe Jokes More Believe Jokes

What do you call 2 ducks who walk like, act like, and believe they are geese?

A paradux

How many of you believe in psychokinesis?

Raise my hand. - Taken from local Chinese joint fortune cookie.

World Jokes More World Jokes

What's the longest game in the world?

Two women playing pool.

What is the fastest cake in the world?

Scone.