Exorcist Jokes

What do you call a demon at the gym?

An exorcist.

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What happens when you don't pay your exorcist?

You get repossessed.

What happened to the Christian family when they didn't pay their exorcist?

THEIR HOUSE GOT REPOSSESSED!

What happens if you don't keep up payments to your exorcist?

You get repossessed.

Why should you be sure to pay your exorcist on time?

You wouldn't want to get repossessed!

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Payment Jokes More Payment Jokes

What's this payment?

Me: we're sponsoring a panda! W: so is this monthly M: No, it's just for the one skydive

When did razors get so expensive?

Three more payments and I'll be able to shave

Happen Jokes More Happen Jokes

What happened to the man running in front of the car?

He got tired. What happened to the man running behind the car He got exhausted.

What happens when you smoke pot in Saudi Arabia?

You get stoned.

House Jokes More House Jokes

How do you get the walls of your house as bright as they can possibly be?

Use LED based paint.

Who do you call when theres a fly in your house?

The SWAT team

Demon Jokes More Demon Jokes

What do you call a demon at the gym?

An exorcist.

How do you exorcise a demon?

Make him run a lap then do 10 push-ups and sit-ups

Christian Jokes More Christian Jokes

What do you get when you cross an atheist and a christian?

An argument

Which chord is essential to every Christian song?

Gsus

Time Jokes More Time Jokes

When is it time for bed at the Neverland Ranch?

When the big hand touches the little hand.

How many Capricorns does it take to change a lightbulb?

I don't waste my time with these childish jokes.

Repossess Jokes More Repossess Jokes

What happened when the man couldn't afford the mortgage on his haunted house?

It was repossessed!

How did the haunted house escape foreclosure?

It was repossessed

Want Jokes More Want Jokes

What part does Woody Harrelson want to be remembered for most?

Harrelson's woodie.

Why was this in the trash?

Me: 6: Me: It was too good. I didn't want to make your sisters jealous.