Repossess Jokes

How did the haunted house escape foreclosure?

It was repossessed

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What happens when you don't pay your exorcist?

You get repossessed.

What happens if you don't pay after an exorcism?

You'll get repossessed!

What happened when the man couldn't afford the mortgage on his haunted house?

It was repossessed!

What happens if you don't keep up payments to your exorcist?

You get repossessed.

Why should you be sure to pay your exorcist on time?

You wouldn't want to get repossessed!

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Happen Jokes More Happen Jokes

What happened to the man who turned into an insect?

He just beetled off!

What happened to the gun that kept randomly shooting?

He got fired.

Time Jokes More Time Jokes

What time do monkeys poop?

Tree turdy.

What time does Sean Connery go to Wimbledon at?

Tennish.

Christian Jokes More Christian Jokes

What's a Christian's least favorite typeface?

Helvetica, it's the fount of all evil.

What do you get when a Catholic priest baptizes hay?

You get a Christian Bale

House Jokes More House Jokes

What do you call a house that changes every month?

A Werehouse.

How does Bill Gates enter his house?

A. He uses "windows".

Payment Jokes More Payment Jokes

What happens if you don't keep up payments to your exorcist?

You get repossessed.

What's this payment?

Me: we're sponsoring a panda! W: so is this monthly M: No, it's just for the one skydive

Want Jokes More Want Jokes

Why did the cowboy get a miniature dachshund?

He wanted to get a long little doggy.

Why did the actor fire his Gorilla agent?

The big Ape kept wanting to take more than a 10% bite!

Escape Jokes More Escape Jokes

Why did all the prisoners at the AT&T jail escape?

Because they had no bars on their cells!

How did the haunted house escape foreclosure?

It was repossessed

Afford Jokes More Afford Jokes

Why are so many people in San Francisco homeless?

They can't afford an apartment because they only make 50 grand per year.

Why didn't Bach buy his wife a new accordion?

He couldn't afford it; he was "Baroque".