Football Team Jokes

Why was Cinderella kicked out of the football team?

She ran away from the ball.

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Why did the football team sack the hairy goalkeeper?

Because he rarely shaved the balls.

Who's the most meta player on a Football team?

The PUNter.

How do hens encourage their football teams?

They egg them on!

What should a football team do if the pitch is flooded?

Bring on their subs!

Which football team loves ice-cream?

Aston Vanilla!

Who's the biggest joke on the football team?

The PUNter

Which football team to you need to connect up your computer?

Leeds.

Why was Cinderalla thrown out of the football team?

Because she ran away from the ball.

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Mile Jokes More Mile Jokes

What's grey and moves at a hundred miles an hour?

A jet propelled elephant!

What is the longest word in the English language?

SMILES because there is a mile between the first and last letters!

Ball Jokes More Ball Jokes

What is the difference between the deflate gate controversy and my wife?

Only one shows an interest in the balls.

What did one strand of yarn say to the other?

I'm not ready to dye, I still have a few ends to tie up. "Ball up..."

Turn Jokes More Turn Jokes

Why did the tomato turned red?

Because it saw the salad dressing

Why did Bill Gates &amp?

Warren Buffett once have me quickly kicked out of a game of bridge? When it was my turn to bid I kept saying, "Go fish".

5 Jokes More 5 Jokes

Where do you see yourself in 5 lives?

Dalai Lama job interview)

Why is the set including the square root of 5 and the square root of 4 similar to the set including anarchism and authoritarianism?

They are both unlike radicals.

Referendum Jokes More Referendum Jokes

What's the difference between a football match and a referendum?

In a football match, the best team wins.

What's the plural of "Referendum"?

Riots.

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa?

Santa knows to stop after three Ho's.

What's the difference between an erection and Colin Kaepernick?

An erection can make it past the semis, and still stand up if you sing for it.

Use Jokes More Use Jokes

Why does America use the imperial system?

Because they are behind

What kind of cheese would you use to disguise a small horse?

Mascarpone

Daughter Jokes More Daughter Jokes

What did the melon say to his daughter after she tried to get married?

You cant-elope!

What did Harry Potter name his daughter?

Harry Daughter.