Gnocchi Jokes

Why couldn't the Italian man start his car?

Gnocchi

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Why couldn't the restaurant patron get into his car?

He had Gnocchi.

Why does the Italian pasta maker always get locked out of his house?

Because he has gnocchi

Why couldn't the Italian get into his house?

Because he had gnocchi.

Why couldn't the Italian chef get into his restaurant?

Gnocchi.

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How do Italian Chefs swap recipes?

By Spaghett-e-mail!

What did the Italian chef say when his boss tried to pick a fight?

You wanna pizza me!

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Whats a mans favorite word that starts with 'm' and ends in 'arriage'?

A miscarriage! This joke never gets old, just like the baby!

How do you build a flea circus?

You have to start from scratch.

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How do you get a one armed Italian out of a tree?

You talk to him!

What do you say to an Italian who is urinating on the sidewalk?

European!

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Why do I have to say please when I ask for a sandwich at a restaurant?

They don't say please when I'm paying. They say, "That'll be $5". I should be able to say, "That'll be a sandwich."

Why was the restaurant called "Out of this World"?

Because it was full of Unidentified Frying Objects.

Car Jokes More Car Jokes

Why could Don Juan always pick up girls in his car?

It was electric. Also, the car had a set of hands.

Why did the boy die when a car ran over his finger?

His finger was up his nose.

House Jokes More House Jokes

Why was the Japanese man so careful when walking in his house?

It was made of pranks.

How does Bill Gates enter his house?

A. He uses "windows".

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How to find out who loves you more - your dog or your wife?

Easy. Lock them both in a trunk and watch who will be happier to see you after you open it in 15 minutes.

Why can't redditors sew?

Because the thread has been locked by a moderator

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Why do Italian men wear gold chains?

So they know where to stop shaving.

Why are so many Italian men named Tony?

When they ship them over from the Old Country, they stamp "To N.Y." on them...