Herb Jokes

Why did the guy spend the entire day throwing out his surplus of herbs?

He had too much thyme on his hands.

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What did the chef say when he ruined the soup with too many herbs?

Well, this was a waste of Thyme.

What do you call an avid gardener?

Herb

Why do Americans just ignore the "H" in "Herb"?

Honestly, no idea!

What do you get if you stuff your computer's disk drive with herbs?

A thyme machine.

What do you call a chef who's stingy with herbs?

PARSLEYMONIOUS

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Computer Disk Drive Jokes More Computer Disk Drive Jokes

What do you get if you stuff your computer's disk drive with herbs?

A thyme machine.

Why are you pushing garlic into the computer's disk drive?

Pupil: To keep vampires off the Internet Teacher: But there aren't any vampires on the Internet Pupil: See It works doesn't it

Thyme Jokes More Thyme Jokes

Why do herb pickers have so many hobbies?

They've got a lot of thyme on their hands

What did the chef say when he ruined the soup with too many herbs?

Well, this was a waste of Thyme.

Chef Jokes More Chef Jokes

What's worse than finding hair in your food?

Finding out the chef is bald.

What do you call someone who belongs in the kitchen?

A Chef of course...

Man Jokes More Man Jokes

What does a man with one leg wear to the beach?

Flop.

How is that a problem?

The man says, "I don't wake up until 10:30."

Hell Jokes More Hell Jokes

What the hell is a mango doing in a bar?

But chessy but gets a good giggle

Why is heaven a paradise for the common man?

Because all the politicians are in hell.

Plaice Jokes More Plaice Jokes

What did the boy fish say to his girlfriend?

Your plaice or mine'!

What's the difference between a flatfish and a good woman?

The fish doesn't know it's plaice.

Open Jokes More Open Jokes

What did the hipster say when a Starbucks opened in his neighborhood?

You can't gentrify this place! I just moved here!

What does a child without arms get for x-mas?

Gloves! nah don't know, it hasn't opened the present yet

Lot Jokes More Lot Jokes

When were King Arthur's army too tired to fight?

When they had lots of sleepless knights!

Why was the haunted mansion self conscious?

Because it got a lot of creepy stairs. FML.