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July Jokes

Why are there no knock-knock jokes about America?

Because freedom rings. Happy 4th of July!

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What do FBI agents grill for the 4th of July?

Hillary.

What does a pirate light on the Fourth of July?

A m80.

When is a rabbi dishonest?

July

What's brown, sticky and runs down your leg?

Chocolate Ice Cream in July!

What's the difference between the United States and a yogurt?

That after 200 years, a yogurt can actually build a community. Haha, happy late 4th of July.

What does CNN call back-to-back aviation disasters?

Christmas in July

What do the 12th of July and the end of an essay have in common?

They're both summary!

Why did the hipster complain about winter in July?

He wanted to do it before it was cool.

What do they do for the 4th of July in England?

Sulk.

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January 2nd Jokes More January 2nd Jokes

How many seconds are in a year?

12. January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd, April 2nd.... etc

How many seconds are there in one year?

12 of them: January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd, April 2nd, May 2nd, June 2nd, July 2nd, August 2nd, September 2nd, October 2nd, November 2nd, December 2nd.

Month Jokes More Month Jokes

What did the seal say to the walrus after dating him for three months?

I think we should sea otter people.

What does a woman get every month that lasts 3-5 days?

Her husband's salary.

Leg Jokes More Leg Jokes

What's brown, sticky and runs down your leg?

Chocolate Ice Cream in July!

What did John Wilkes Boothe's stage partner wish him on the day of that tragic night?

Break a leg. So he jumped off the balcony... Sorry that I am not funny.

Second Jokes More Second Jokes

Who succeeded the first President of the USA?

The second one!

Why do procrastinators live the longest?

Because they die at the last second.

Yogurt Jokes More Yogurt Jokes

Why is yogurt always in debt?

Because it's Greek.

What do you get when you take a needle to a balloon filled with yogurt?

Pop culture

4th July Jokes More 4th July Jokes

What do they do for the 4th of July in England?

Sulk.

What do FBI agents grill for the 4th of July?

Hillary.

June Jokes More June Jokes

Why does the NBA finish in June?

She likes it.

Why is Halloween considered the scariest time of the year?

Most weddings happen in June.

Dog Jokes More Dog Jokes

What does one dog say to the other when he just broke up with his girl friend?

Go and retrieve her!

What do you get if you cross a dog with Concorde?

A jet setter!