July Jokes

Why are there no knock-knock jokes about America?

Because freedom rings. Happy 4th of July!

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What do FBI agents grill for the 4th of July?

Hillary.

What does a pirate light on the Fourth of July?

A m80.

When is a rabbi dishonest?

July

What's brown, sticky and runs down your leg?

Chocolate Ice Cream in July!

What's the difference between the United States and a yogurt?

That after 200 years, a yogurt can actually build a community. Haha, happy late 4th of July.

What does CNN call back-to-back aviation disasters?

Christmas in July

What do the 12th of July and the end of an essay have in common?

They're both summary!

Why did the hipster complain about winter in July?

He wanted to do it before it was cool.

What do they do for the 4th of July in England?

Sulk.

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Christmas Jokes More Christmas Jokes

Why do computer programmers confuse Christmas with Halloween?

Because Dec 25 = Oct 31

What do Robin Williams and Joan Rivers want for Christmas?

A. Betty White.

America Jokes More America Jokes

What phrase is a compliment in America, but an argument in the Middle East?

No, YOU the bomb.

Whats the difference between America and Yogurt?

If you leave Yogurt alone for 200 years, it develops a culture.

M80 Jokes More M80 Jokes

What's a pirate's favorite firework?

M80

What does a 1337 pirate call his friends?

M80

Moustache Jokes More Moustache Jokes

What did the customer say to the barber after looking at a facial hair catalog?

I moustache you a question about this style shown here, good sir.

What did the facial hair say when it had to leave the party?

Sorry guys, moustache!

Dog Jokes More Dog Jokes

Where'd the dog who lost his tail go to get a new one?

A retail store.

What do you get...... when you cross an insomniac, a dyslexic, and and agnostic?

Answer(/s "Someone who lays awake all night wondering if there really is a dog")

Second Jokes More Second Jokes

What is your first wish?

Joe: I want to be rich. Genie: Granted. What is your second wish Rich: I want lots of money.

What's Gordon Ramsey's second favorite movie?

FROZE-- oh, nevermind.

Fbi Jokes More Fbi Jokes

Why will the artist formerly know as Prince only hire former FBI agents as his house maids?

Because they must be able to "dust for Prince"

What do you call a folder on FBI's servers that contains all the intel on known child molesters?

A Pedo File.

Fourth Jokes More Fourth Jokes

Who likes music?

Asks a commander. - Two soldiers step forward. - All right. I bought a piano. Take it to my apartment on the fourth floor.

What does a pirate light on the Fourth of July?

A m80.