Meet Jokes

How did the tiny frozen dinner meet the little kid's belly?

Microwave

Couple's Daily Question Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

What's the biggest ant in the world?

Girl: My Aunt Boy: No it's an elephant. Girl: You obviously haven't met my Aunt

What do you say if you meet someone from Anonymous in an S&amp?

M club? "Troll in the dungeon!"

Where does the thumb meet its type?

At the SPACE BAR! reddit is fun! I'm staring at the keyboard tryin' to think up a joke and voila'!

What did the captain of the alien mouse spaceship say when he met his first earth mouse?

Take me to your Liederkranz.

How did Stevie Wonder meet his wife?

On a blind date

Where do David Cameron and his party meet?

In the Conservatory!

What's the worst part about meeting someone with Parkinson's?

Shaking hands.

Why do Asian people never seem to age?

I met a chinese girl today & I estimate her age to be somewhere between 4 & 197.

What does a shooting star say to his buddy before he dies?

Meet me - oh, right..

Where are you and Mom going tonight?

Me: To meet with your teacher. 7: Oh, you don't need to. I already saw her today.

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

What is the best part of having Alzheimer's?

Youre always meeting new people.

Why was the man at the cookout so happy?

He met the grill of his dreams.

What do Asians meeting up at their favorite Chinese take-out say?

Where my dogs at

What did your mom's leg say to her other leg?

Nothing they've never met.

What day of the week did the 1st calendar day ever fall on?

Do the math! Me: Seriously! It's 2AM and I'm leading a meeting tomorrow

What did the cannibal make of the politician he just met?

Pork and bologne sammiches.

How did I win a Super Smash Bros. Brawl Tournament?

I met a knight

What do you call a bunch of furries, an all girls volleyball meet, and a video game tournament?

Genesis 3.

Where are a squirrel and a chipmunk most likely to meet?

A nut house.

When Shall We Meet Again?

By Miles Apart

What did Water say to Fire when they met for the first time?

Shhhhhhh.

Why do Southern guys go to family reunions?

To meet chicks.

Why do dogs chase their tails?

They want to make ends meet.

Why was the zombie in such a rush to get to his book signing?

He had deadlines to meet

Why should I let you into heaven?

Me: Once a coworker said "supposably" 7 times in a meeting & I just let her StP: Get in here

How to make your wife take care while driving?

Tell her that if she meets with a serious accident, the newspaper will have to print her age.

How do salespeople traditionally greet each other?

Hi. Nice to meet you. I'm better than you.

What did the gold miner say when he met the singer of Pink Floyd?

What's the square root of optimus prime?

I'm not sure, but it's more than meets the eye.

What did one wall say to the other wall?

I'll meet you at the corner!

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Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

What do you throw a drowning aboriginal?

His wife and kids

What's the difference between talking to your wife after you forgot something and a minefield?

You can actually get through the minefield alive.

Roll Jokes More Roll Jokes

What goes Black-White, Black-White, Black-White?

A panda bear rolling down a hill.

What did the Mexican say with one sleeve rolled up and one sleeve not?

Not even, homes

Brothel Jokes More Brothel Jokes

What did Santa say at the brothel?

Hoe! Hoe! Hoe!

What's the difference between a magic show and a brothel?

Ones a cunning array of stunts...

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

What personal question is not obvious yet nobody has ever needed to ask anyone?

Are you vegan?

Why would my wife ask if I was wearing this shirt when it's already on?

Stop talking in secret code.

Public Jokes More Public Jokes

What do you call a guy who does not fart in public?

A private tutor.

What do you say when you see two cleaning ladies making out in public?

Get a broom.

Door Jokes More Door Jokes

How do blind people know where to find Braille signs on walls and doors?

They just have a feel for that kind of thing.

Why couldn't the pickle leave the bar?

Because the door was ajar!

Build Jokes More Build Jokes

When is it too cold to build a snowman?

When the frostbite is worse then the frostbark.

Why did the Mexican push his wife off the building?

Te-quil-a

Hand Jokes More Hand Jokes

How many of you believe in psychokinesis?

Raise my hand. - Taken from local Chinese joint fortune cookie.

What would Santa Claus be called if he had no hands?

Canta Plaus.