Public Jokes

What did the doctor say when he saw two fetuses being too affectionate in public?

Get a womb, you two.

Everyday Deserves a Joke

$19.99

What do you call someone who refuses to fart in public?

A Private Tutor.

What do you say when you see two cleaning ladies making out in public?

Get a broom.

How many politicians does it take to change a lightbulb?

Just two. One to explain to the public that everything possible is being done to solve the problem, and the other to screw the lightbulb into the water faucet.

What do you call a guy that never farts in public?

A privet tutor

What do you call someone who never farts in public?

A PRIVATE TUTOR

What do a Yugo and a bath have in common?

You can't step out of them in public.

Why wouldn't the teacher fart in public?

Because she was a private tutor

What do you call a guy who does not fart in public?

A private tutor.

Why was the man arrested for looking at sets of dentures in a dentist's window?

Because it was against the law to pick your teeth in public.

You might also enjoy:

I. Jokes More I. Jokes

What does a pirate have in common with the alphabet?

They only have one I.

How do you spell "we" with two letters without using the letters W and E?

U and I.

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

Why so glum Chum?

Asked the kindly stranger. "If my parents get divorced...will they still be brother and sister "

How many women are necessary to change a lightbulb?

One... but, what does it matter if she will ask a man to do it!

Check Jokes More Check Jokes

Why is it so confusing to play chess with the British?

It's only check, mate

What do you do at a red light?

Me: "I usually respond to texts and check my Twitter."

P Jokes More P Jokes

How do you get Lady Gaga attention?

P-p-p-poke her face.

Why did the pig walk into the kitchen?

Because he felt like bacon.

Problem Jokes More Problem Jokes

What did one math book say to the other?

Man I got a lot of problems!

What's the problem?

Wife: He makes friends with the strangest things Me petting a bee: You're not strange are you Alan

Public Pool Jokes More Public Pool Jokes

Where is the safest place to stay at Ferguson?

The public pool, if it is too crowded try the library.

What is the pH of a public pool?

All P

Number Jokes More Number Jokes

Why is the number eight afraid of the number seven?

Because seven ate nine.

How are you doing in arithmetic?

I've learned to add up the zeros but the numbers are still giving me trouble.

Screw Jokes More Screw Jokes

How many mosquitoes does it take to screw in a light bulb?

2...and don't ask me how they got in there. (My 87 year old grandma just told me this one)

How many Microsoft executives does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None. They just redefine 'darkness' as an industry standard.