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Public Jokes

What would you do if you won the lottery?

Two friends meet together and one asks: What would you do if you won the lottery? -I would build a brothel! Oh, and if it went wrong and you loose money? -I'd open it to the public

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Couple's Daily Question Mug

What did the doctor say when he saw two fetuses being too affectionate in public?

Get a womb, you two.

What do you call someone who refuses to fart in public?

A Private Tutor.

What do you say when you see two cleaning ladies making out in public?

Get a broom.

How many politicians does it take to change a lightbulb?

Just two. One to explain to the public that everything possible is being done to solve the problem, and the other to screw the lightbulb into the water faucet.

What do you call a guy that never farts in public?

A privet tutor

What do you call someone who never farts in public?

A PRIVATE TUTOR

What do a Yugo and a bath have in common?

You can't step out of them in public.

Why wouldn't the teacher fart in public?

Because she was a private tutor

What do you call a guy who does not fart in public?

A private tutor.

Why was the man arrested for looking at sets of dentures in a dentist's window?

Because it was against the law to pick your teeth in public.

Love Card

Love Card

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Lack Jokes More Lack Jokes

Why did the air freshener company go out of business?

Because they lacked common scents...

Why did the worker get fired from the orange juice factory?

Lack of concentration.

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

What does COINCIDENCE' mean?

Student Funny, I was just going to ask you that.

What's the first thing an Owl asks when you trow a rock at it?

HOOO did that!

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between real life Friends and the cast of the show Friends?

The ability to binge watch Friends with your friends.

What's the difference between Tuna, a Piano, and a bottle of Glue?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna!

Country Jokes More Country Jokes

What country does fried fish swim in?

Greece! (courtesy of my ten year old)

What's the difference between Gordon Ramsey and a run in the forest?

Ones a pant in the country the others a...

Public Pool Jokes More Public Pool Jokes

What is the pH of a public pool?

All P

Where is the safest place to stay at Ferguson?

The public pool, if it is too crowded try the library.

Friend Jokes More Friend Jokes

What do you do after you but a new oven?

Invite all of your friends over and have an oven warming party.

Who is the most popular guy at a nudist colony?

The one who can bring his friends two cups of coffee and a dozen donuts.

Pizza Place Jokes More Pizza Place Jokes

How are you going to celebrate 9-11?

I go to the tallest tower in my city. Call up a pizza place and order two large planes.

What does an inexperienced public speaker and a pizza place with high workers have in common?

They both have problems with delivery.

Work Jokes More Work Jokes

What's the difference between GTA V Online and a non-essential government employee?

Nothing neither one has been working since Tuesday...

What secret organization does Pinnochio work for?

Wooden you like to know