Public Jokes

What did the doctor say when he saw two fetuses being too affectionate in public?

Get a womb, you two.

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What do you call someone who refuses to fart in public?

A Private Tutor.

What do you say when you see two cleaning ladies making out in public?

Get a broom.

How many politicians does it take to change a lightbulb?

Just two. One to explain to the public that everything possible is being done to solve the problem, and the other to screw the lightbulb into the water faucet.

What do you call a guy that never farts in public?

A privet tutor

What do you call someone who never farts in public?

A PRIVATE TUTOR

What do a Yugo and a bath have in common?

You can't step out of them in public.

Why wouldn't the teacher fart in public?

Because she was a private tutor

What do you call a guy who does not fart in public?

A private tutor.

Why was the man arrested for looking at sets of dentures in a dentist's window?

Because it was against the law to pick your teeth in public.

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Meet Jokes More Meet Jokes

Why Romeo could not meet Juliet at an Apple Store?

Poor Juliet! Did not know Apple stores don't have Windows!

How do blondes carpool?

They meet up a work

Lightbulb Jokes More Lightbulb Jokes

How many Avengers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two. Ant-Man and Wasp are the only ones small enough to fit inside a lightbulb.

How many Greek Catholic monks does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

A Basilian.

Delivery Jokes More Delivery Jokes

What's the best part of a pregnancy joke?

The delivery.

What is a nurse in the maternity ward's favorite kind of food?

Delivery.

Friend Jokes More Friend Jokes

Why does the noble gas always cry?

Because all his friends Argon.

What do you like to do in your free time?

Guy: I spy on people. Girl: Really I like to take long walks in the park and go to the movies with my friends. Guy: I know.

America Jokes More America Jokes

What's it called when you go around looking for stuff to buy that's made in America?

Antiquing.

What do you call an intelligent man in America?

A tourist.

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

How flexible are you?

He asked. I can't do Tuesdays. -Tommy Cooper

What did the blonde's mother say when she asked if she could lick the bowl?

Just flush it like everybody else does.

Open Jokes More Open Jokes

What do computers and air conditioners have in common?

Neither work when you open windows.

How does a New York University psychology major turn on his lights in the morning?

By opening the car door.

Walk Jokes More Walk Jokes

What do you call an ant that's walking in perfect form?

An informant

Why do ducks nod their head when they walk?

They're listening to duckstep!