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Necrophiliacs Jokes

What do necrophiliacs get when they wake up on the day of a funeral?

Mourning Wood

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What do necrophiliacs get at funerals?

Mourning wood.

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Wake Jokes More Wake Jokes

How often do Chinese people have elections?

When they wake up every morning.

What do you call a cat when he first wakes up with the alarm clock?

Catsup!

Die Jokes More Die Jokes

What would you get if Geddy Lee, Neil Peart and Alex Lifeson all died in a plane crash?

Take your time, there's no Rush...

How did the feminist die?

Alone

Cold Jokes More Cold Jokes

What goes hum-choo hum choo?

A bee with a cold!

Why is Congress like a cold?

Because sometimes the ayes (eyes) have it and sometimes the no's (nose).

Like Jokes More Like Jokes

Why did Jesus run off the airplane?

He didn't like the Pilate

What would you like for your last meal?

Woman: "I don't know, what do you want "

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between a French Knight and my friend with a genie?

One's a Paladin, and the other's my pal Alladin

What's the difference between a banana and a helicopter?

You can helicopter your banana but you can't banana your helicopter

Inflate Jokes More Inflate Jokes

How do you make a blonde's brain the size of a pea?

Inflate it.

What do you call a Tumblr user who identifies as a device which inflates a tire?

A pumpkin!

Week Jokes More Week Jokes

What's the difference between your mom and a washing machine?

If I dump a load in a washing machine it doesn't follow me around for the next few weeks.

What award did the kid in a coma for six weeks win?

Atrophy.

Mourn Wood Jokes More Mourn Wood Jokes

How do you spot a necrophiliac at a funeral?

Mourning wood.

What do you call a tree that lost its family in a forrest fire?

Mourning wood