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New Home Jokes

What's really important to a bat when they are looking for a new home?

Echo-location, location, location (Replace "bat" with "zubat" if you wish.)

Birthday State of Mind

Birthday State of Mind

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Sense Jokes More Sense Jokes

Whats the difference between Congress and a US mint?

One of them makes sense!

Why do you keep changing a word into something that makes no sense?

You are the banner of my existence.

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between OP and a brick?

A brick gets laid!

What's the difference between a baby and baby Alien?

One bursts into tears. The other bursts out of tears

Replace Jokes More Replace Jokes

What is atheism?

A non-prophet religion Edit: Replace the word "religion" with "set of beliefs" if you're picky about that sort of thing

Why was the mechanic sad he had to replace a wheel bearing?

It was da-press-in.

Gun Jokes More Gun Jokes

How many NRA spokesmen does it take to change a lightbulb?

More guns!

How do you persuade the US Senate to regulate the laws on guns?

Put them inside a woman's body.

Japanese Jokes More Japanese Jokes

What are the loud, metal things that the Japanese hit?

American ships.

Which US state is the friendliest towards the Japanese?

Ohio

Try Jokes More Try Jokes

Why do beta fish fight each other?

Because they're trying to figure out who's the betta fish

What did the shoelace say when I tried to tie it?

Uh, like, can you knot?

New Pair Jokes More New Pair Jokes

What do these shoes do?

GLINDA: Send you home D: Lame tries new pair And these G: Wait- D: clicks heels turns into hamburger

Why did the golfer need to buy a new pair of socks?

Because he got a hole in one!

D Jokes More D Jokes

What are a pirate's least favorite letters?

D, M, C, and A.

What did C say to E?

She wants the D.