Porpoise Jokes

Why did the aquarium have an existential crisis when the dolphins were released to the wild?

It lost its porpoise.

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Why was the dolphin sad?

Because it had no porpoise in life.

Why did the dolphin apologize?

He didn't do it on porpoise.

Why did the dolphin run away from home to start a new life?

He felt he had lost his sense of porpoise.

What did one nihilistic dolphin say to the other?

What is life without a porpoise?

What do you call a sea mammal with a mission?

A porpoise.

What did the dolphin say when he ran into the sea turtle?

Sorry, I didn't do it on porpoise.

Why was the dolphin depressed?

He felt he had no porpoise in life

Why did the dolphin go to church?

He was looking for a porpoise. (thought this one up but I doubt I was the first one that did.)

Why did the lone dolphin stop swimming?

He didn't see a porpoise...

What did the sea-world trainer's friend say to him after he spilled water on his friends lap?

You did that on porpoise

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What do philosophical dolphins say?

What's the porpoise?

What did the dolphin say when he got in trouble?

I didn't do it on Porpoise!!

Why did the marine park worker feel aimless?

Because they lacked porpoises.

What did the nihilistic sea world trainer say to his boss?

There is no porpoise.

What did the dolphin say to the whale when he bumped into him?

I didn't do it on porpoise.

Why couldn't the dolphin choose a career?

She had no sense of porpoise.

What did the depressed dolphin say?

I need a porpoise.

What's the big deal?

It's not like I did it on porpoise!

Why was the dolphin keeper depressed?

Because he had no porpoise.

What did the dolphin king say at the funeral of his faithful servant?

You have served your porpoise.

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How do Dolphins live their lives?

With a porpoise.

What did the dolphin say to the other dolphin after he splashed him?

Hey! You did that on porpoise!

What kinds of stories do dolphins tell around the campfire?

They're just ghost stories for all in tents and porpoises.

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Why was the dolphin sad?

Because it had no porpoise in life.

How do dolphins send messages?

By sea-mail.

Serve Jokes More Serve Jokes

What's a dish best served cold?

Air condish.

What kind of chili do they serve at the cannibal prison??

Chili CON Carne!

Start Jokes More Start Jokes

Why didn't you report your stolen credit card?

Man: The thief was spending less than my wife. Police: Then why are you reporting it now Man: I think now the thief's wife has started using it!

What is the easiest way to get a small fortune?

You start with a large one.

Think Jokes More Think Jokes

Who's there! Chicken! Chicken who?

Chicken your pockets - I think your keys are there!s

Why did the Limestone feel unappreciated?

Because he thought people were taking him for granite.

Trouble Jokes More Trouble Jokes

How are you doing in arithmetic?

I've learned to add up the zeros but the numbers are still giving me trouble.

Why did the teacher have trouble controlling her pupils?

She was cross eyed.

Existential Crisis Jokes More Existential Crisis Jokes

What do you call a mouse named Bob who's having an existential crisis?

Bob.

How do you give a solipsist an existential crisis?

You tell me.

Family Jokes More Family Jokes

What did I do before Twitter?

Well, there's my family and......OH MY GOD WHERE'S MY FAMILY!!

What family does the octopus belong to?

Pupil: Nobody I know!

Apologize Jokes More Apologize Jokes

Why did the dolphin apologize?

He didn't do it on porpoise.

What do you call someone who breaks a plate and then apologizes?

Dishrespectful...