Porpoise Jokes

He had a ruff week.. His life wasn't purrfect. His brother was a shellout. His mother's been a real crab lately. His family was really shellfish. He had no porpoise in life.

What did the nihilistic sea world trainer say to his boss?

There is no porpoise.

What did the dolphin say to the whale when he bumped into him?

I didn't do it on porpoise.

Why couldn't the dolphin choose a career?

She had no sense of porpoise.

What do Plains Native Americans have in common with moderately sized sea dwelling mammals?

For all in tents and porpoises, they're constantly moving.

What did the depressed dolphin say?

I need a porpoise.

What's the big deal?

It's not like I did it on porpoise!

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Why was the dolphin keeper depressed?

Because he had no porpoise.

What did the dolphin king say at the funeral of his faithful servant?

You have served your porpoise.

How do Dolphins live their lives?

With a porpoise.

What did the dolphin say to the other dolphin after he splashed him?

Hey! You did that on porpoise!

What kinds of stories do dolphins tell around the campfire?

They're just ghost stories for all in tents and porpoises.

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Existential Crisis Jokes More Existential Crisis Jokes

Why did the aquarium have an existential crisis when the dolphins were released to the wild?

It lost its porpoise.

What do you call a mouse named Bob who's having an existential crisis?

Bob.

Doubt Jokes More Doubt Jokes

Why did the dolphin go to church?

He was looking for a porpoise. (thought this one up but I doubt I was the first one that did.)

What do you call a disembodied nose?

Nobody nose.

Feel Jokes More Feel Jokes

Why'd the short man take the elevator up?

He was feeling down

Why does the lemon feel uncomfortable making friends outside of tumblr?

Because it has cis-trust issues

Wild Jokes More Wild Jokes

What do you get if you cross Snoop Dogg with a hippo?

A smokesalottapotamus.

How do you spot a cheetah in the wild?

You don't, they're already spotted!

Sea Turtle Jokes More Sea Turtle Jokes

What do you call two beer drinkers arguing about sea turtles?

Lager-heads at loggerheads about Loggerheads.

What did the dolphin say when he ran into the sea turtle?

Sorry, I didn't do it on porpoise.

Dolphin Jokes More Dolphin Jokes

What did the dolphin say when three orcas swam by?

Whale, whale, whale, who do we have here? Please, this is a cry for help.

Why was the dolphin sad?

Because it had no porpoise in life.

Lap Jokes More Lap Jokes

What did the sea-world trainer's friend say to him after he spilled water on his friends lap?

You did that on porpoise

What is the difference between a creep and a kid?

I wouldn't let a creep sit on my lap.

Friend Jokes More Friend Jokes

Why does tigger have no friends?

Because he plays with pooh.

What is Putin to Ukraina, a friend or a brother?

A brother, because you can choose your friends.