Porpoise Jokes

He had a ruff week.. His life wasn't purrfect. His brother was a shellout. His mother's been a real crab lately. His family was really shellfish. He had no porpoise in life.

What did the nihilistic sea world trainer say to his boss?

There is no porpoise.

What did the dolphin say to the whale when he bumped into him?

I didn't do it on porpoise.

Why couldn't the dolphin choose a career?

She had no sense of porpoise.

What do Plains Native Americans have in common with moderately sized sea dwelling mammals?

For all in tents and porpoises, they're constantly moving.

What did the depressed dolphin say?

I need a porpoise.

What's the big deal?

It's not like I did it on porpoise!

April Sale

Why was the dolphin keeper depressed?

Because he had no porpoise.

What did the dolphin king say at the funeral of his faithful servant?

You have served your porpoise.

How do Dolphins live their lives?

With a porpoise.

What did the dolphin say to the other dolphin after he splashed him?

Hey! You did that on porpoise!

What kinds of stories do dolphins tell around the campfire?

They're just ghost stories for all in tents and porpoises.

What's the problem with your marriage?

WIFE: He replaces words with animal names just to annoy me ME: I don't do it on porpoise

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Release Jokes More Release Jokes

Whom hath released the hounds?

Whom Whom Whom Whom

What is it called when a man molests with each release?

Per version.

Home Jokes More Home Jokes

What does a French beaver call her home?

Madame

What is the worst kind of wood to have in your home around your kids?

Naughty pine

Apologize Jokes More Apologize Jokes

Why did the dolphin apologize?

He didn't do it on porpoise.

What do you call someone who breaks a plate and then apologizes?

Dishrespectful...

Friend Jokes More Friend Jokes

How to lose a gf: Gf: which of my friends would be the most fun to have a 3some with?

Me: *names two of them*

Why did the pancake cross the road?

His friends egged him on

Feel Jokes More Feel Jokes

How do you feel about the upcoming Tour de France?

I'm gonna give 110%

Why do happy people like to sleep in late?

Because they aren't mourning people. I just made this up!! Could you all help me with the wording? It feels like it could be a little better I just don't know how to word it differently while using the same "mourning" pun as the punch line.

Trouble Jokes More Trouble Jokes

Why does Luke Skywalker never have trouble getting laid?

Because he always uses the force.

What do you give an alligator who is having trouble hearing?

A gator-aid. Bet you did see that one coming:P

Clean Jokes More Clean Jokes

Why do wizards clean their teeth three times a day?

To prevent bat breath!

Why haven't they sent a woman to the moon yet?

It doesn't need cleaning.

Life Jokes More Life Jokes

How did the hail stone describe it's life?

It really has a lot of ups and downs

What is the one riddle that everyone gives up?

The riddle of life!

Porpoise Jokes

Why did the aquarium have an existential crisis when the dolphins were released to the wild?

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

Why was the dolphin sad?

Why did the dolphin apologize?

Why did the dolphin run away from home to start a new life?

What did one nihilistic dolphin say to the other?

What do you call a sea mammal with a mission?

What did the dolphin say when he ran into the sea turtle?

Why was the dolphin depressed?

Why did the dolphin go to church?

Why did the lone dolphin stop swimming?

What did the sea-world trainer's friend say to him after he spilled water on his friends lap?

Love

What do philosophical dolphins say?

What did the dolphin say when he got in trouble?

Why did the marine park worker feel aimless?

Why was the animal unhappy?

What did the nihilistic sea world trainer say to his boss?

What did the dolphin say to the whale when he bumped into him?

Why couldn't the dolphin choose a career?

What do Plains Native Americans have in common with moderately sized sea dwelling mammals?

What did the depressed dolphin say?

What's the big deal?

I Love Pizza & You

Why was the dolphin keeper depressed?

What did the dolphin king say at the funeral of his faithful servant?

How do Dolphins live their lives?

What did the dolphin say to the other dolphin after he splashed him?

What kinds of stories do dolphins tell around the campfire?

What's the problem with your marriage?

You might also enjoy:

Whom hath released the hounds?

What is it called when a man molests with each release?

What does a French beaver call her home?

What is the worst kind of wood to have in your home around your kids?

Why did the dolphin apologize?

What do you call someone who breaks a plate and then apologizes?

How to lose a gf: Gf: which of my friends would be the most fun to have a 3some with?

Why did the pancake cross the road?

How do you feel about the upcoming Tour de France?

Why do happy people like to sleep in late?

Why does Luke Skywalker never have trouble getting laid?

What do you give an alligator who is having trouble hearing?

Why do wizards clean their teeth three times a day?

Why haven't they sent a woman to the moon yet?

How did the hail stone describe it's life?

What is the one riddle that everyone gives up?