Dolphin Jokes

Why did the aquarium have an existential crisis when the dolphins were released to the wild?

It lost its porpoise.

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Why was the dolphin sad?

Because it had no porpoise in life.

Why did the dolphin apologize?

He didn't do it on porpoise.

What do you call a dolphin with agoraphobia?

Endorphins

What did the dolphin say to the frog?

Eeeee eeee eeeee ieeeee eeee eee. Dolphins don't talk dummy.

Why did the dolphin get a fair trial?

Because Habeas Porpoise.

Why did the dolphin run away from home to start a new life?

He felt he had lost his sense of porpoise.

What do you call a dolphin that is out of the water?

Dolphout

What did the dolphin say when he ran into the sea turtle?

Sorry, I didn't do it on porpoise.

Why was the dolphin depressed?

He felt he had no porpoise in life

Why did the dolphin go to church?

He was looking for a porpoise. (thought this one up but I doubt I was the first one that did.)

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What did the dolphin say when three orcas swam by?

Whale, whale, whale, who do we have here? Please, this is a cry for help.

Why did the lone dolphin stop swimming?

He didn't see a porpoise...

What do you call a bartender giving two dolphins a drink?

Serving dual porpoises!

What did the dolphin say when he got in trouble?

I didn't do it on Porpoise!!

What did Arnold Schwarzenegger say when he saw a dolphin caught in a net?

It's not a too-nah!

Why was the dolphin so upset with the attendance of his drunken kegger?

It lacked porpoise.

Why did the dolphin feel crabby?

Because he ate too many crabs!

Why was the dolphin happy and the shark depressed?

The sharks life lacked porpoise.

What is a Dolphins favorite ingredient?

All porpoise flour.

What did the dolphin say to the whale when he bumped into him?

I didn't do it on porpoise.

Why couldn't the dolphin choose a career?

She had no sense of porpoise.

How does a group of dolphin's make a decision?

Flipper coin!

What do dolphins use to stay clean?

All-porpoise cleaner.

What do the dolphins and the post office have in common?

Neither deliver on Sundays.

Why are dolphins all friends with each other?

They just click you know

How do dolphins send messages?

By sea-mail.

What did the baby dolphin do when he didn't get his way?

He whale-d

How do Dolphins live their lives?

With a porpoise.

Why was the scientist allowed to use dolphins for his experiments?

Because they were for test porpoise only

What did the dolphin say to the other dolphin after he splashed him?

Hey! You did that on porpoise!

How could the dolphin afford to buy a house?

He prawned everything!

What kinds of stories do dolphins tell around the campfire?

They're just ghost stories for all in tents and porpoises.

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When punching a toddler, how hard is too hard?

Calm down... I'm not talking about MY kid. I know how hard to punch her. I'm her mother.

What do prisoners use to talk to each other?

Cell phones.

Help Jokes More Help Jokes

What animal do psychiatrists bring in to mental hospitals to help patients with social anxiety?

Squirrels they're the best at getting nuts out of their shells.

Why didn't the Duke of Windsor let his French servant help him tie his tie?

He never does it with a four-in (foreign)-hand.

Sea Turtle Jokes More Sea Turtle Jokes

What do you call two beer drinkers arguing about sea turtles?

Lager-heads at loggerheads about Loggerheads.

What did the dolphin say when he ran into the sea turtle?

Sorry, I didn't do it on porpoise.

Aquarium Jokes More Aquarium Jokes

Why did the aquarium have an existential crisis when the dolphins were released to the wild?

It lost its porpoise.

How did the aquarium win the battle?

Giant Fish Tanks.

Church Jokes More Church Jokes

What's the difference between a girl in church and a girl in a bubble bath?

The girl in church has her soul full of hope...

Why do chickens go to church?

To get to the other side

Trick Jokes More Trick Jokes

Why can't you trick unemployed jesters?

Because they're nobody's fool

Why can't you trick an unemployed jester?

Because he's nobody's fool!

Home Jokes More Home Jokes

What's your favorite part about being a stay-at-home mom?

Me: Showering is optional Her: HAHAHA, be serious. Me: Ok, no drug tests.

What did the man say when he realized the boy who asked him out was an orphan?

No home oh

Listen Jokes More Listen Jokes

What type of music do lightning bolts listen to?

Rock and Roll

How do you listen to Taylor Swift and N.W.A one after the other?

Make a mixed tape.