Dolphin Jokes

Why did the aquarium have an existential crisis when the dolphins were released to the wild?

It lost its porpoise.

$Your Age Is Only Math$

March Madness Sale

Your Age Is Only Math

$5.99

Why was the dolphin sad?

Because it had no porpoise in life.

Why did the dolphin apologize?

He didn't do it on porpoise.

What do you call a dolphin with agoraphobia?

Endorphins

Why did the dolphin get a fair trial?

Because Habeas Porpoise.

Why did the dolphin run away from home to start a new life?

He felt he had lost his sense of porpoise.

What do you call a dolphin that is out of the water?

Dolphout

What did the dolphin say when he ran into the sea turtle?

Sorry, I didn't do it on porpoise.

Why was the dolphin depressed?

He felt he had no porpoise in life

Why did the dolphin go to church?

He was looking for a porpoise. (thought this one up but I doubt I was the first one that did.)

What did the dolphin say when three orcas swam by?

Whale, whale, whale, who do we have here? Please, this is a cry for help.

March Madness Sale

Love Card

$5.99

Why did the lone dolphin stop swimming?

He didn't see a porpoise...

What do you call a bartender giving two dolphins a drink?

Serving dual porpoises!

What did the dolphin say when he got in trouble?

I didn't do it on Porpoise!!

What did Arnold Schwarzenegger say when he saw a dolphin caught in a net?

It's not a too-nah!

Why was the dolphin so upset with the attendance of his drunken kegger?

It lacked porpoise.

Why did the dolphin feel crabby?

Because he ate too many crabs!

Why was the dolphin happy and the shark depressed?

The sharks life lacked porpoise.

What is a Dolphins favorite ingredient?

All porpoise flour.

What did the dolphin say to the whale when he bumped into him?

I didn't do it on porpoise.

Why couldn't the dolphin choose a career?

She had no sense of porpoise.

March Madness Sale

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

$14.99 $19.99

How does a group of dolphin's make a decision?

Flipper coin!

What do dolphins use to stay clean?

All-porpoise cleaner.

What do the dolphins and the post office have in common?

Neither deliver on Sundays.

Why are dolphins all friends with each other?

They just click you know

How do dolphins send messages?

By sea-mail.

What did the baby dolphin do when he didn't get his way?

He whale-d

How do Dolphins live their lives?

With a porpoise.

Why was the scientist allowed to use dolphins for his experiments?

Because they were for test porpoise only

What did the dolphin say to the other dolphin after he splashed him?

Hey! You did that on porpoise!

How could the dolphin afford to buy a house?

He prawned everything!

March Madness Sale

Love

$5.99

What kinds of stories do dolphins tell around the campfire?

They're just ghost stories for all in tents and porpoises.

You might also enjoy:

Serve Jokes More Serve Jokes

What kind of chili do they serve at the cannibal prison??

Chili CON Carne!

A ham sandwhich walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender says...

I'm sorry, we don't serve food here

Stop Jokes More Stop Jokes

Why did the blonde wear green lipstick?

Because red means stop D

What do you call a marathon runner that refuses to stop?

A joggernaut.

Look Jokes More Look Jokes

How do you get over trophobia?

Look at the hole photo for 30 seconds straight

How can you tell if you are looking at a police glow-worm?

He has a flashing light.

Porpoise Jokes More Porpoise Jokes

What's the problem with your marriage?

WIFE: He replaces words with animal names just to annoy me ME: I don't do it on porpoise

Why did the marine park worker feel aimless?

Because they lacked porpoises.

Squid Pro Quo Jokes More Squid Pro Quo Jokes

What do you call a fish that's good at trading favors?

A squid pro quo.

Whats it called when you give a dolphin food for it to do a trick?

Squid Pro Quo

Life Jokes More Life Jokes

What's your opener?

JESUS: "God loves you." You BUDDHA (crumpling paper that says Life Is Suffering): Me too

Why do people buy fruit already cut up?

There's only like 7 things in life easier than cutting up fruit and one of them is farting.

Endorphin Jokes More Endorphin Jokes

What do you call a happy dolphin?

Endorphin

What do you call a dolphin with agoraphobia?

Endorphins

Cut Jokes More Cut Jokes

Why are Wendy's burgers so good?

Because they don't cut corners.

What do Hispanic midgets cut their pizza with?

Little Caesar's