Physics Jokes

What do you call it when a Physics Teacher throws a bar of chocolate at you?

Brownian Motion

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What's the difference between a degree in Theoretical Physics and a theoretical degree in Physics?

One is relevant and can get you a job. The other you went to university for.

Why don't biology and physics get on?

They lack chemistry.

What did the Physics professor say when he forgot his lines of a speech?

Give me a moment...ummmm.(momentum)

Why did the college student change his major from Biology to Physics after his first exam?

He needed to see if how fast his grade dropped broke any laws of physics.

What do you call something that's impossible due to physics?

Physics-ly impossible. There's your dad joke for the day.

Why do Physics and Biology teachers never get along?

Because they have no chemistry

Why is it best to teach physics on the edge of a cliff?

Original joke) Because that's where students have the most potential.

Why did the hipster dislike physics?

Cause the system is broke, yo.

How do women defy the laws of physics?

The heavier they are, the easier to pick up!

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Decide Jokes More Decide Jokes

What does the rude barista say to the customer in a coffee shop?

I cant decide whether you are a fruitcake or a doughnut!

Why did the Polish couple decide to have only 4 children?

They'd read in the newspaper that one out of every five babies born in the world today is Chinese.

Change Jokes More Change Jokes

How many r/jokes redditors does it take to change a lightbulb?

Answer is 2. One to change the lightbulb while the other screams "REPOST"

Why do women like men with moustaches?

Because they immediately see something about you they can change.

Run Jokes More Run Jokes

Why do bears hate shoes so much?

They like to run around in their bear feet.

Why did the Japanese funeral home have to turn away new business?

They ran out of san storage

Break Jokes More Break Jokes

What did the physicists say when he accidentally broke his resistor?

My ghosh

What does a lightbulb and a pregnant woman have in common?

Its easy to break the little light inside them.

Appreciate Jokes More Appreciate Jokes

Why didn't the skelton cross the road?

Answer in comments so you can fully appreciate the joke)

How does a Trigonometry teacher appreciate his girlfriend?

Oh baby, you are so (1/cos C)"!!!

Opposite Jokes More Opposite Jokes

What's the opposite of condescending?

Gif(http://25.media.tumblr.com/6b1b800af79638830eef30deb8163bbf/tumblrms1l531JGu1s29n2zo1250.gif)

What's the opposite of Tim Walken?

Tim Daly.

Physics Professor Jokes More Physics Professor Jokes

What do you get when you cross a mountain climber and a mosquito?

You can't. A mosquito is a vector and the mountain climber is a scaler. Courtesy of my physics professor.

What did the physics professor shout when he disproved Hooke's Law in early to mid March?

Spring break!

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between a joke and your friend's blog?

You enjoy it when a joke is posted on Facebook

What's the difference between a watermelon and a baby?

One is fun to hit with a sledgehammer, the other one is a watermelon.