Real Life Jokes

Why do console gamers use their in game names in real life?

They haven't got anti-aliasing.

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

What did Brad Pitt in Seven and Harvey Weinstein in real life both get?

Gwyneth Paltrow's head.

What do you get when you have seven dragon balls?

Nothing! This is real life.

What's the difference between Jesus in real life and Jesus in a picture frame?

It only takes one nail to hang up Jesus in a picture frame.

Whenever I meet a Jim I ask, "is that short for Jimberly?

And I have few friends in real life.

How can you tell soap operas are fictional?

In real life, men aren't affectionate out of bed.

How can you tell if someone's a redditor,in real life?

Ask them if they're on reddit. I'm sorry.

What next?

Damn. I guess we'll have talk to people in real life.

How do you use calculus in real life?

You integrate it

You might also enjoy:

Meet Jokes More Meet Jokes

Why arent koalas actual bears?

They dont meet the koalafications.

Why do dogs chase their tails?

They want to make ends meet.

Fun Jokes More Fun Jokes

What do you call a joke that makes fun of a woman, who has not consented to be made fun of?

Misogynistic.

What's the first rule here, boys?

Kid:Don't poop your pants M:I was gonna say "have fun" but...OK.

Use Jokes More Use Jokes

What do bees do if they want to use public transport?

Wait at a buzz stop!

What technique does a prisoner use when coloring a picture?

Cell shading.

Binge Jokes More Binge Jokes

What do you call the prequel to The Purge?

The Binge

What's the difference between real life Friends and the cast of the show Friends?

The ability to binge watch Friends with your friends.

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What is the difference between a baby and a alarm clock?

You only have to hit the alarm clock once to make it be quiet...

What's the difference between a lima bean and a chickpea?

I've never had a lima bean on my chest

People Jokes More People Jokes

What is it good for?

Some people say "nothing", but my stock portfolio's looking promising.

What do you call a group of singing people floating around in the ocean?

An acappellago

Napoleon Jokes More Napoleon Jokes

Why didn't Napoleon get his wish?

Because he couldn't pull the wish Bonaparte.

Why did Napoleon return from exile?

He needed more Elba room.

Family Jokes More Family Jokes

What's the difference... between a (nationality, ethnicity, etc you want to make fun of) man and a large pizza?

A large pizza can feed a family of four.

What's the difference between a bench and a black guy?

A bench can support a family of four.