Real Life Jokes

Why do console gamers use their in game names in real life?

They haven't got anti-aliasing.

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What do you get when you have seven dragon balls?

Nothing! This is real life.

What's the difference between Jesus in real life and Jesus in a picture frame?

It only takes one nail to hang up Jesus in a picture frame.

Whenever I meet a Jim I ask, "is that short for Jimberly?

And I have few friends in real life.

How can you tell if someone's a redditor,in real life?

Ask them if they're on reddit. I'm sorry.

What next?

Damn. I guess we'll have talk to people in real life.

How do you use calculus in real life?

You integrate it

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Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

Why are we here?

Me: Philosophers still don't know 5: No, why are we HERE Wife: Your dad is lost and won't ask for directions

What did Picard say when Riker asked him what kind of Chinese food he wanted?

Make it Tso's Number One.

Man Jokes More Man Jokes

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs laying in a pile of leaves?

Russel.

What did the man say while holding a square shaped clock?

I'm holding Time Square!

Fun Jokes More Fun Jokes

What do you call something that makes fun of people and can fly?

A mocking bird!

What does the Lego man do for fun?

He throws a block party.

System Jokes More System Jokes

What should you do if you get lots of e-mails saying 'What's up Doc?

Check for bugs in your system.

What do you call a web developer who enjoys finding bugs in the system?

A spider

Animal Jokes More Animal Jokes

What animal runs around happily with 5 legs?

A pit bull in a kindergarten

Where do animals go when their tails falls off?

The retail store

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What is the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?

About 60 pounds.

What's the difference between an American student and an English student?

About 3000 miles!

God Jokes More God Jokes

Why do we have oceans?

Because based god and acid god had a baby.

What's the difference between a lawyer and God?

God doesn't think he's a lawyer.

Life Jokes More Life Jokes

What's a life without manitees?

A life with out porpoise.

Why did the Wise Man get 25 to life?

Myrrhder