Real Life Jokes

Why do console gamers use their in game names in real life?

They haven't got anti-aliasing.

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What did Brad Pitt in Seven and Harvey Weinstein in real life both get?

Gwyneth Paltrow's head.

What do you get when you have seven dragon balls?

Nothing! This is real life.

What's the difference between Jesus in real life and Jesus in a picture frame?

It only takes one nail to hang up Jesus in a picture frame.

Whenever I meet a Jim I ask, "is that short for Jimberly?

And I have few friends in real life.

How can you tell if someone's a redditor,in real life?

Ask them if they're on reddit. I'm sorry.

What next?

Damn. I guess we'll have talk to people in real life.

How do you use calculus in real life?

You integrate it

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Use Jokes More Use Jokes

What do you call a woman on a cruise ship in Mexico using the diving board at the pool?

A broad abroad on a board aboard.

What technique does a prisoner use when coloring a picture?

Cell shading.

Friend Jokes More Friend Jokes

What do coffee beans say to scare their friends?

Brew.

How do you know if your friend has an iPhone?

They tell you.

Fun Jokes More Fun Jokes

Why is it considered socially wrong to make fun of a crying 10-year old boy in Africa?

Because it's normal to undergo a midlife crisis.

How do tectonic plates have fun?

They meet up and crack each other up.

People Jokes More People Jokes

How do people at rodeos heckle the riders?

Moooo!

Why were some people living in the 80s so healthy?

Because they had good high jeans

Redditor Jokes More Redditor Jokes

What is it called when a Redditor writes about his life?

A meme-oir

Why was the Redditor's picture crooked?

Because Redditors aren't known for keeping a level head.

Calculus Jokes More Calculus Jokes

Why aren't there any Calculus teachers in Little Rock, Arkansas?

Because everyone there hates integration.

What did the mathematician and the dentist talk about?

Calculus

Love Life Jokes More Love Life Jokes

What's dark, empty and going no where fast?

Your love life.

How's your love life?

Well, I went on a date. 45 minutes in I realized it was a turtle in a wig. "I'm sorry man" it's ok. still got laid.

God Jokes More God Jokes

What did Joan Rivers say to God when she arrived?

Get a new robe!

What do you call it when an eclipse occurs?

When God forgets to pay the electricity bill.