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Regret Jokes

What did the man say after he forgot to pull out?

I regret nutting!!!

We've Got This Love Thing Down

We've Got This Love Thing Down

What do Harvard and a virgin have in common?

You try so hard to get in but 9 months later you regret you ever came.

How many Murdochs does it take to change a lightbulb?

They were unaware the lightbulb was an issue & regret unknowingly paying to change it

What is it called when you are arrested for drunk driving and you extremely regret it?

DU-WHY!

What's the difference?

What's the difference between getting your girlfriend pregnant and asking how her day went There is no difference, you always regret both!

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Drunk Driving Jokes More Drunk Driving Jokes

What is it called when you are arrested for drunk driving and you extremely regret it?

DU-WHY!

Which Star Wars character was arrested for drunk driving?

Han Solo. Because he took a shot first.

Issue Jokes More Issue Jokes

What kind of a shoe has a problem?

An issue.

How many tax advisors does it take to change a light bulb?

In the summer there is a tax deductible convention in Hawaii dealing exactly with this issue.

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

How do you tell a chemist from a non-chemist?

Ask them to pronounce 'unionized.'

What would you like?

ME:What would YOU like W:Excuse me M:No one ever asks you, do they W:*tearing up* No.. they don't. Thank you.

Organism Jokes More Organism Jokes

Why did the scientist regret naming the organism "Fungus"?

Because after they hung out Gus was actually a pretty boring guy.

Which country has the most number of bacteria, viruses, fungus and other micro-organisms?

GerMany

Du Jokes More Du Jokes

What is it called when you are arrested for drunk driving and you extremely regret it?

DU-WHY!

What's the best way to cheer on an electrician?

You con-du-it!!!

Baby Jokes More Baby Jokes

Where's the baby?

While holding the baby. I can't believe it was legal for me to reproduce.

Why was the baby in Africa crying?

It was having a mid-life crisis.

Pay Jokes More Pay Jokes

Why did the Romans pay their soldiers in salt?

So they would end up with seasoned veterans.

Why does someone who runs marathons make a good student?

Because education pays off in the long run!

Girlfriend Jokes More Girlfriend Jokes

How do you know when your girlfriend is putting on too much weight?

She starts fitting into your wife's clothes.

Where do cows stay when they go on vacation?

In a moooo-tel. I just thought of this sitting in my hotel room. Sometimes I feel like i dad joke so hard I impregnate my girlfriend from 100 miles away.