Scold Jokes

How do mathematicians scold their children?

If I've told you n times, I've told you n+1 times...

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How to not get scolded by your parents if you want GTA V?

Mom! I want to play GTA V! Giant Turtles ATTACK V!

What did the Elephant say while scolding her children?

Tusk Tusk I am so sorry

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Why do women live longer than men?

Shopping never causes heart attacks, but paying the bill does!

Why did AMD release black edition cpu?

Cause they run faster than white.

Play Jokes More Play Jokes

Why wouldn't the sow let her piglets play with toads?

She didn't want them to grow into wart hogs.

Why did Marlin and Dory never date?

Dory was played by Ellen DeGeneres.

Parent Jokes More Parent Jokes

What's the similarity between a burned pizza and parents?

If it's black it won't give you any food

How are blind kids punished by their parents?

The parents move the furniture.

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

Why do people procrastinate?

I'll tell you later.

How do you tell the difference between members of the GOP and ISIS?

Skin color.

Mom Jokes More Mom Jokes

What's the difference between awkward and awful?

Awkward is finding your mom on Tinder, awful is matching with her

What did one plant say to the other plant that was annoying him?

Please leaf me alone! Or I'll tell my mom, and you'll get in trouble.

N1 Jokes More N1 Jokes

How do mathematicians scold their children?

If I've told you n times, I've told you n+1 times...

How many X does it take to change a light bulb?

N! One to change the light bulb, and n-1 to display stereotypical behavioral traits of X!

Want Jokes More Want Jokes

Why did it take the computer so long to decide whether it wanted to buy an Egyptian cotton sheet?

Because it had too many threads.

Why were you speeding?

Motorist: I wasn't going to miss seeing myself on "America's Most Wanted."

Fool Jokes More Fool Jokes

What did Horatio say to the pathological liar in CSI: Miami?

Won't get fooled again!

Why can't you trick an unemployed jester?

Because he's nobody's fool!