Swedish Jokes

What's the difference between a Swedish jam band and slam dunking a baby?

One's a Swedish Phish and the other's a fetus swish

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What nationality is not quite one?

Swedish

What did the failed Swedish chef say?

All that hard Bork and nothing to show for it.

What did the Swedish chef say to his girlfriend when he found out she was pregnant?

Abort - Bort - Bort!

What hood was the Swedish cholo from?

StockHOLMES!

Where does a race on the Swedish border end at?

The Finnish line.

What do Swedish people put in their coffee?

Artifical Swedeners

How do you sink a Swedish submarine?

Knock on the hatch.

What do you call a scar left by the Swedish Chef?

A borkmark.

Why do Swedish men always have stupid grins on their faces?

Because they're stupid" said her friend.

How do you catch a Swedish fish?

With a gummy worm as bait

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Who's a good example of a Swedish Spaniard?

Per Ejemplo.

What do you get when you cross a Swedish tennis pro, a computer virus, and an insatiable hunger for mort flesh?

Cyborg Bjorn Borg hosting smorgasbords at the morgue.

What do Swedish criminals say when the cops are coming?

Pork! Pork! Pork!

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Cross Jokes More Cross Jokes

What do you get when you cross........ the DNA of a human with the DNA of a goat?

Kicked out of the petting zoo.

What do you get when you cross Pizza with a Bike?

A Piecycle.

Coffee Jokes More Coffee Jokes

What do you call coffee made from coal?

Tarbucks.

Why can't the Transistor drink any more coffee?

Because it keeps Peein' n peein'

Scar Jokes More Scar Jokes

Why doesn't Achilles have any scars?

His wounds always heel.

What song did Scar sing when he fixed his car horn?

Beep repaired...

Phish Jokes More Phish Jokes

What is a computer scammer's favorite band?

PHISH

What's the difference between a Swedish jam band and slam dunking a baby?

One's a Swedish Phish and the other's a fetus swish

Good Example Jokes More Good Example Jokes

What's a good example that oil is a bad lubricant?

Middle East

Who's a good example of a Swedish Spaniard?

Per Ejemplo.

Computer Virus Jokes More Computer Virus Jokes

What illness makes you sneeze on your laptop screen?

A computer virus!

What do you get when you cross a Swedish tennis pro, a computer virus, and an insatiable hunger for mort flesh?

Cyborg Bjorn Borg hosting smorgasbords at the morgue.

Finnish Jokes More Finnish Jokes

Why is Vladimir Putin always Russian?

Because he's never Finnish.

Why do people traveling east out of Sweden get a metal?

Because they're crossing the Finnish line.

Baby Jokes More Baby Jokes

What does a Russian woman say to stop her husband from abusing her?

Vladislov, baby don't hurt me, don't hurt me, no more... I'm sorry..

What do you call a baby in a concentration camp?

Baby Powder.