Swedish Jokes

What nationality is not quite one?

Swedish

Everyday Deserves a Joke

Everyday Deserves a Joke

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What did the failed Swedish chef say?

All that hard Bork and nothing to show for it.

What did the Swedish chef say to his girlfriend when he found out she was pregnant?

Abort - Bort - Bort!

Where does a race on the Swedish border end at?

The Finnish line.

What do you call a scar left by the Swedish Chef?

A borkmark.

How do you catch a Swedish fish?

With a gummy worm as bait

Who's a good example of a Swedish Spaniard?

Per Ejemplo.

What do you get when you cross a Swedish tennis pro, a computer virus, and an insatiable hunger for mort flesh?

Cyborg Bjorn Borg hosting smorgasbords at the morgue.

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Girlfriend Jokes More Girlfriend Jokes

What did the astronaut say to his girlfriend when he broke up with her?

I need some space.

What do you call a jazz musician without a girlfriend?

Homeless

Face Jokes More Face Jokes

Why are ships' portholes round?

So that if they break, water doesn't hit you square in the face.

What do you get if you cross a grizzly bear and a harp?

A bear faced lyre!

Baby Jokes More Baby Jokes

How do you get a baby in and out of a small bowl?

Use a blender to get it in, use tortilla chips to get it out!

What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon?

One is fun to hit with a sledgehammer, the other is a watermelon.

Fail Jokes More Fail Jokes

Why did the feminist fail algebra?

She couldn't solve inequalities.

Who do you pat with encouragement when they fail to work?

A Remote control

Finnish Line Jokes More Finnish Line Jokes

Why can't Sweden win a race?

Because, it always sits right behind the Finnish line

Where does a race on the Swedish border end at?

The Finnish line.

Catch Jokes More Catch Jokes

Why don't Pokemon cards ever have any typos?

Because the editors know that they gotta catch 'em all!

What did Jesus' disciples say when he caught all those fishes?

HOLY MACKAREL!

Slam Jokes More Slam Jokes

Why do NBA players like poultry?

Because they love to slam duck!

Why is poo tapered?

So your arse doesn't slam.

Leave Jokes More Leave Jokes

Which is easier for a man to leave: the women or the Wine?

It depends on the age.

What did the mama frog say to the baby frog when they left for a party?

You better amphi-BE-ON your best behavior.