Venus Jokes

Why are there no nightclubs on Venus?

They shut down because they had a toxic atmosphere

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Couple's Daily Question Mug

What did Serena say to Venus before they faced off in the US Open?

In tennis, love means nothing.

Why has Venus been so distant lately?

Mars answers "shes been under a lot of pressure and has really bad gas"

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Face Jokes More Face Jokes

What's the diffrence between a Chickpea and a Gorbanzo bean?

I woun't pay a 100 bucks for a Gorbanzo bean on my face.

When faced with a challenging situation I calmly ask myself "what would The Hulk do?"

Then I rip my clothes and smash stuff up!

Love Jokes More Love Jokes

What did the painter say to her boyfriend?

I love you with all my art!

How do you measure love?

In hertz!

Shut Jokes More Shut Jokes

What does an envelope say when you lick it?

Nothing. It just shuts up.

Why did the dry cleaners get shut down?

The owner was arrested for money laundry-ing

Pressure Jokes More Pressure Jokes

What got the apple into skydiving?

Pear pressure.

What did the piston say to the freely expanding gas?

No pressure

Mean Jokes More Mean Jokes

What do you mean pi r square?

Pies are round

What does it mean when a lion roars?

Shut up. The movie is about to start.

Nightclub Jokes More Nightclub Jokes

Why didn't the number 4 get into the nightclub?

Because he is 2 square.

Why are there no nightclubs on Venus?

They shut down because they had a toxic atmosphere

Answer Jokes More Answer Jokes

What were the very first straws made of?

Straw.

Which appliance in your home do you think is the most useful?

His answer: "My mom."

Bad Gas Jokes More Bad Gas Jokes

Why has Venus been so distant lately?

Mars answers "shes been under a lot of pressure and has really bad gas"