Villain Jokes

Why does Willem Dafoe play a villain in a lot of movies?

Duh. Cause he's da foe.

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How do you die by heroin?

When you are the villain

How about if the villain is a psychopath out to make a skin suit?

Not in a kids movie, dude. "Ok, but it's puppy skin " - Oh, then YES!

Which villains steal soap from the bath?

Robber ducks.

Where do super-villains get their coffee?

DUN-DUN-DUUUNNNNkin Donuts.

Why don't Bond villains feel cold in the winter?

Because they dress in lairs.

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Lot Jokes More Lot Jokes

What do you call the offspring of a black man and an octopus?

I don't know but it sure can pick a lot of cotton.

What do the Bermuda Triangle and a blonde have in common?

They both swallow a lot of seamen. Ahh stupid jokes. They never get old.

Steal Jokes More Steal Jokes

What did Jonathan Ross say after breaking in to a large kitchen to steal some utensils?

It was worth the whisk

What can stop supervirus from destroying humanity?

Batvirus (stolen joke xD)

Feel Jokes More Feel Jokes

What happens to a black mans hair when it feels nauseous?

It fro's up.

How could you know that?

Darth: I have felt your presents

Bond Jokes More Bond Jokes

Who's there! Bond! Bond who?

Bond to succeed!

Why did helium get into a fight with neon?

They can't bond with each other, no matter how hard they try.

Soap Jokes More Soap Jokes

How do you launder money?

Put it under the soap.

What did Larry McMurtry say when his neighbor asked to borrow a bar of soap?

He said "Sure! I could loan some Dove".

Plan Jokes More Plan Jokes

Why did the melons plan a big wedding?

Because they cantaloupe!

What's being in love feel like?

You know when someone cancels plans you wanted to cancel anyway Almost as good as that.

Antagonist Jokes More Antagonist Jokes

What do you call a very small villain?

The Antagonist

What do you call an ant sized villain?

The *ant*agonist.

Heroin Jokes More Heroin Jokes

What happened to the Mexican after he took heroin for the third time?

He over 'd

What's the difference between heroin and the cast of the jersey shore?

I wouldn't shoot heroin.