Soap Jokes

What the difference between a nun in a bathtub & a nurse in the bathtub?

One has soul full of hope & one has a hole full of soap... I'll walk myself out, sorry first post here

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What's the difference between a Nun and a lady taking a bath?

The Nun has hope in her soul and the lady taking a bath has soap in her hole.

What is the difference between a girl in a church, and a girl in a bathtub?

The girl in the church has hope in her soul, and the girl In the bathtub has soap in her hole.

What's an alcoholic's favorite type of soap?

Bar soap.

Why did the boxer bring a bar of soap into the ring?

The referee said he wanted a clean fight.

What happened to the boy-band member who dropped the soap In the prison shower?

Let's just say that his backstreet went more than One Direction.

Why did the meteorologist bring a bar of soap to work?

He was expecting showers.

What should you do if you see an epileptic having a seizure in a bathtub?

Throw in a load of laundry, and soap

What did Larry McMurtry say when his neighbor asked to borrow a bar of soap?

He said "Sure! I could loan some Dove".

What kind of soap do Middle Eastern citizens use?

Arab spring

Why did the little pig hide the soap?

He heard the farmer yell "Hogwash!"

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How did your mom know you hadn't washed your face?

I forgot to wet the soap.

Why should you never trust soap?

It's an emulsive lyer.

Who steals all the soap in the bathroom?

The robber ducky

What kind of soap do you use to clean a dirty joke?

Bawdy wash.

Which birds steal soap from the bath?

Robber ducks!

Which villains steal soap from the bath?

Robber ducks.

Why in the hell would I clean my bathtub?

I put soap and water in there every day...

What did the soap say to the hands as they were being washed?

I think we're in sink.

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Nurse Jokes More Nurse Jokes

What did the emu say to the nurse?

Mend her bones or walk the plank

What's this bit here?

NURSE: ...his heart ME: Hm. NURSE: Your resume said you were a surgeon ME: My resume says a lot of things

Mexican Jokes More Mexican Jokes

What do you get when you mix a Mexican and an octopus?

I don't know, but it sure can wash a lot of dishes.

How many Mexican clowns can you fit in a car?

No, seriously. Cuz I bet it's a lot

Soul Jokes More Soul Jokes

Why don't ghosts like rainy days?

Because it dampens their souls!!!!

What do you call it when a blonde dyes her hair brown?

Artificial intelligence What do you call it when a blonde dyes her hair red Selling her soul for intelligence

Nun Jokes More Nun Jokes

What do you call a nun on the run?

A ROMAN CATHOLIC!

Which punchline do you like better?

What do you call a nun that sleep-walks a) A Roamin' Catholic b) An unconscious habit

Bath Jokes More Bath Jokes

What did the priest announce before he went for a bath?

Speak now or forever hold your pee!

Why did the thief take a bath?

To get a clean getaway

Spanish Jokes More Spanish Jokes

What do you call a little pepper in Spanish?

A jalapequeno

What is the biggest plot twist in Spanish soap operas?

When Rodrigo finds out he is his own mother

Alcoholic Favorite Type Jokes More Alcoholic Favorite Type Jokes

What's an alcoholic's favorite type of soap?

Bar soap.

What's an alcoholic's favorite type of beer?

All of them

Pick Jokes More Pick Jokes

What's the opposite of Adele?

Amac or BB-Mac (you pick which one's funnier)

Why do golfers have the best chauffeurs?

Because they're good at picking their drivers.