Soap Jokes

What's the difference between a Nun and a lady taking a bath?

The Nun has hope in her soul and the lady taking a bath has soap in her hole.

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What is the difference between a girl in a church, and a girl in a bathtub?

The girl in the church has hope in her soul, and the girl In the bathtub has soap in her hole.

What's an alcoholic's favorite type of soap?

Bar soap.

Why did the boxer bring a bar of soap into the ring?

The referee said he wanted a clean fight.

Why did the meteorologist bring a bar of soap to work?

He was expecting showers.

What should you do if you see an epileptic having a seizure in a bathtub?

Throw in a load of laundry, and soap

What did Larry McMurtry say when his neighbor asked to borrow a bar of soap?

He said "Sure! I could loan some Dove".

What kind of soap do Middle Eastern citizens use?

Arab spring

Why did the little pig hide the soap?

He heard the farmer yell "Hogwash!"

How did your mom know you hadn't washed your face?

I forgot to wet the soap.

Why should you never trust soap?

It's an emulsive lyer.

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Who steals all the soap in the bathroom?

The robber ducky

What kind of soap do you use to clean a dirty joke?

Bawdy wash.

Which birds steal soap from the bath?

Robber ducks!

Which villains steal soap from the bath?

Robber ducks.

Why in the hell would I clean my bathtub?

I put soap and water in there every day...

What did the soap say to the hands as they were being washed?

I think we're in sink.

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Mother Jokes More Mother Jokes

How many Freudian psychologists does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the ladder and one to screw your mother - I mean light bulb!

What are mixed feelings?

Watching your mother-in-law backing up towards the edge of a cliff in your new BMW.

Hide Jokes More Hide Jokes

Why couldn't the leopard play hide and seek?

Because he was always spotted.

What is the worst place to hide in a hospital?

The ICU (I-see-you!)

Walk Jokes More Walk Jokes

How much for the giant, walk-in medicine cabinet?

Sir, this is a liquor store.

What did the blind man say when he walked into the fish market?

Good morniiiiiiing ladies!

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between a Chemist and a Plumber?

The way they pronounce "unionized"

What's the difference between a seal and a sealion?

An electron

Girl Jokes More Girl Jokes

Why did the girl take a ruler to bed?

She wanted to see how long she slept.

Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road???

Bc it was a girl named sally and it pooped itself

Church Jokes More Church Jokes

Why did the duck get kicked out of church?

Because he was using fowl language!

Why is it forbidden for ants to go in a church?

They are in-sects

Pray Jokes More Pray Jokes

What kind of birds go to church every Sunday?

Birds of Pray

What does Axl Rose do before he prays?

Gets down on his SHA-NA-NA-NA-NA-KNEES! KNEES!

Hippie Weed Jokes More Hippie Weed Jokes