Soap Jokes

What's the difference between a Nun and a lady taking a bath?

The Nun has hope in her soul and the lady taking a bath has soap in her hole.

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What is the difference between a girl in a church, and a girl in a bathtub?

The girl in the church has hope in her soul, and the girl In the bathtub has soap in her hole.

What's an alcoholic's favorite type of soap?

Bar soap.

Why did the boxer bring a bar of soap into the ring?

The referee said he wanted a clean fight.

Why did the meteorologist bring a bar of soap to work?

He was expecting showers.

What should you do if you see an epileptic having a seizure in a bathtub?

Throw in a load of laundry, and soap

What did Larry McMurtry say when his neighbor asked to borrow a bar of soap?

He said "Sure! I could loan some Dove".

What kind of soap do Middle Eastern citizens use?

Arab spring

Why did the little pig hide the soap?

He heard the farmer yell "Hogwash!"

How did your mom know you hadn't washed your face?

I forgot to wet the soap.

Why should you never trust soap?

It's an emulsive lyer.

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Who steals all the soap in the bathroom?

The robber ducky

What kind of soap do you use to clean a dirty joke?

Bawdy wash.

Which birds steal soap from the bath?

Robber ducks!

Which villains steal soap from the bath?

Robber ducks.

Why in the hell would I clean my bathtub?

I put soap and water in there every day...

What did the soap say to the hands as they were being washed?

I think we're in sink.

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Good Place Jokes More Good Place Jokes

Where's the best place to apologise to someone?

Surrey.

Where's the best place to have a waffle on the beach?

San Diego. (Sandy Eggo)

Liquid Soap Jokes More Liquid Soap Jokes

Why do they use liquid soap in the Navy?

It takes longer to pick up

Why dose the navy use liquid soap?

Because it takes longer to pick up.

Sailor Jokes More Sailor Jokes

How do you fit four sailors onto a barstool?

Turn the barstool upside down.

Why couldn't the Sailor steal other peoples work?

It was Pirated.

Kitchen Sink Jokes More Kitchen Sink Jokes

What's the difference between a pontiff's chin and the kitchen sink?

One's covered in soap bubbles, while the other's covered in Pope stubbles.

Why is the galley the safest place to be on a capsizing ship?

Because everything but the kitchen sinks. =D

Pope Jokes More Pope Jokes

What do a drunken cat and the pope have in common?

They're both Catholics.

What do you call someone who's too pooped to Pope?

Ex-Benedict

Drop Jokes More Drop Jokes

How many stockholders does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes.

Why couldn't Frodo drop the Ring into Mt. Doom?

Force of Hobbit.

Run Jokes More Run Jokes

What should you do if a monster runs through your front door?

Run through the back door.

Why is the Kentucky Derby run in a circle?

They like horsin' around.

Pray Jokes More Pray Jokes

What did the farmer say about his missing vegetables?

Lettuce pray they turnip.

What did the veggies say, as they sat down for supper?

Lettuce, pray.