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Whats the best thing on the menu?

Waiter: The cheesebur- Me: WRONG! *points to the picture I drew on it of Ironman fighting Darth Vader*

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Point Jokes More Point Jokes

Who run da world?

Points mic at me* ME: having briefly heard the song once before...squirrels

What do witches use pencil sharpeners for?

To keep their hats pointed.

S Jokes More S Jokes

Whats a potheads favorite vehicle?

The cannaBUS.

How do you make seven even?

Take the s off.

Draw Jokes More Draw Jokes

What if I draw a peanut on her napkin?

Wife: Please go wait in the car

Why couldn't the anarchist draw a straight line?

He didn't have a ruler!

Darth Vader Jokes More Darth Vader Jokes

What do you call a man whose wife was the Queen, his daughter a Princess and his boss an Emperor, but he himself is no royal?

Darth Vader.

What's Darth Vader's Favorite Mineral?

Co-pper

Picture Jokes More Picture Jokes

Why are there no pictures of Ted Cruz holding a baby?

They always turn out blurry from him shaking them.

Why do blondes smile when it's lightning?

A. Because, they think they are having their picture taken.

Fight Jokes More Fight Jokes

What do you mean I've had enough to drink?

Hold my beer while I fight this lamppost.

What did Ronda Rousey's face look like after her fight with Holly Holm?

It was all broused up!

Good Thing Jokes More Good Thing Jokes

What's the best thing about owning a car in Liverpool?

You'll eventually end up with enough bricks to build a free garage.

What's the best thing about having insomnia?

Only one nights sleep til Christmas!

Wrong Jokes More Wrong Jokes

Why did people stop printing stamps with photo of Pamela Anderson?

Banta: Because people started licking the wrong side of it for pasting them on the envelopes..

What do you see?

Patient: A house and Me: Wrong it's Batman. Ok this one Patient: I se Me: Nope. Batman again.

Waiter Jokes More Waiter Jokes

Why do waiters like a good Marth player?

He tips well.

What did the ninja say to the waiter when asked what to drink?

The ninja replies with "Wata!"

Ironman Jokes More Ironman Jokes

What's the difference between ironman and ironwoman?

One is a superhero and the other is a simple command.

What is the difference between Ironman and Ironwoman?

Ironman is a superhero, Ironwoman is a command.

Menu Jokes More Menu Jokes

What did Sherlock ask his friend when he wanted to know what they were having for dinner?

Watson the menu

Whenever a waiter asks, "Do you want to hear about our specials?

Push the menu aside and softly whisper, "I want to hear about you."