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Why is there a baseball bat under your bed?

Me: In case there's a burglar. 5: Me: 5: Why do burglars like to play baseball

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Bed Jokes More Bed Jokes

What does a dyslexic, agnostic insomniac do at night?

Lie in bed wondering "Is there really a dog?"

How does an Alabama girl know shes in for a crazy night?

Her daddy says he wants her in bed by ten.

Like Jokes More Like Jokes

What do you call mail that likes to have fun?

Outgoing mail.

How do you know your friends are pleased with your Facebook post?

They like it!

Play Jokes More Play Jokes

Why is Riot Fest going to be in Toronto?

They play music, not hockey.

What song did Kim Jong Il request be played at his funeral?

Journey - Don't Stop Bereaving.

5 Jokes More 5 Jokes

What is up with 1, 3, 5, 7, 9?

I can't even...

How do babies get out of bellies?

ME: "Look! Ice cream!" *5 min later* 3YO COVERED IN ICE CREAM: "How do babies get out of be---"

Baseball Jokes More Baseball Jokes

What are your best Sports Team jokes?

With the NHL season getting started tonight. I am wondering what are you best jokes making fun off sports teams. All Sports (Baseball,hockey,football, soccer etc).

What do you call a crab that plays baseball?

A pinch hitter.

Case Jokes More Case Jokes

Why does a viola burn longer than a violin?

It is usually still in the case.

Why did the golfer bring an extra pair of pants?

In case he got a hole in one.

Baseball Bat Jokes More Baseball Bat Jokes

Why is there a baseball bat under your bed?

Me: In case there's a burglar. 5: Me: 5: Why do burglars like to play baseball

What's brown and very bad for your dental health?

A baseball bat.

Burglar Jokes More Burglar Jokes

What did the burglar give his wife for her birthday?

A stole.

What do you call a government consisted of burglars?

A thiefdom.