Apologize Jokes

Why did the dolphin apologize?

He didn't do it on porpoise.

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What's it called when you apologize using dots and dashes?

Remorse code

How do telegraph operators apologize?

Remorse code

How did the failing Heroes of the Storm player apologize to their teammate?

I'm gonna level with you.

What's the difference between saying sorry and apologizing?

You can say sorry at a funeral.

What was the last thing that went through the Sandy Hook child's mind?

A bullet. I apologize if that joke was aimed for a younger audience. I love Sandy Hook jokes, they never get old. Just like those children.

Why are giraffes slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride

Why can't Canada win wars?

Because they'll blow you up and then apologize.

How does a woman apologize to a man?

I'm sorry, but it's your fault.

What kind of laundry detergent do handicapped people use?

Downy. I apologize for this one, it's pretty mean. I really do sympathize with handicapped people.

What do you call someone who breaks a plate and then apologizes?

Dishrespectful...

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Child Jokes More Child Jokes

What do you call a child with no arms and no legs swimming in a pool?

Bob.

Why can't priests have children?

Because choir boys can't get pregnant, thank God.

Funeral Jokes More Funeral Jokes

What do you call a server at a funeral?

A wake-tress

What's the difference between a meeting and a funeral?

A funeral is a meeting where you're dead outside as well as in.

Stair Jokes More Stair Jokes

Why can't you trust stairs?

Because they are always up to something.

What do you call an arrogant convict coming down the stairs?

A condescending con, descending.

Hair Jokes More Hair Jokes

Why are brunettes so proud of their hair?

It matches their mustaches.

Why didn't Gordon Ramsay like the Girl Scout cream pies?

He found a hair in one.

Storm Jokes More Storm Jokes

What do you call a storm that's raining cats and dogs?

A furrycanine

What did Journey say to the critic as he stormed out of their concert?

Don't stop! Be leaving!" Just a joke I thought up the other day.

Aim Jokes More Aim Jokes

What's the difference between a chestnut and a walnut?

Your aim.

What was the last thing that went through the Sandy Hook child's mind?

A bullet. I apologize if that joke was aimed for a younger audience. I love Sandy Hook jokes, they never get old. Just like those children.

Thing Jokes More Thing Jokes

What's the difference between a terrorist and a feminist?

The terrorist needs a trigger to blow things up.

What is the first thing a woman should do when she gets out of the Battered Women's Shelter?

The dishes, if she knows what's good for her.

Flight Jokes More Flight Jokes

What do you call a snarky criminal going down a flight of stairs?

A condescending con descending.

What is the best way to avoid having your flight bombed?

Bring your own bomb! Cause what are the odds that there are **two** bombs on the same plane